Tracking Weight –

February 26, 2009 at 10:50 am (Uncategorized)

I want to go through all my posts since I started this blog last May and pull out any recorded weights. I’m pretty sure that I’ve been struggling to lose the same 5-7 pounds for almost 9 months, and that is just messed up. Granted, right in the middle of that was a pregnancy and a miscarriage. So I can’t beat myself up too much. But still, good grief.

I got an email from a friend this morning where she mentions that when she comes to terms with the fact that she is happier and more successful in her weight-control efforts when she records and controls her food, works out, and gets enough sleep, and that when she rebels against that saying she “doesn’t want to” it doesn’t help her, just hurts her. I can so identify with that – my rebellion against myself doesn’t help anything. And that’s what it is. Okay, so some people (namely all my in-laws) don’t struggle with their weight and don’t have to watch what they eat. Okay, so I have more weight to lose than I ever have before. Okay, so I’ve failed quite a few times to try and lose it. Okay. All of that doesn’t change my reality right now. The reality of being back up to 230 lbs and feeling tired, sluggish, irritable, ugly. The reality of feeling too lazy to do basic things around the house. The reality of having no s3x drive at all. This is my reality. And it isn’t going to fix itself or go away simply because I’m too stubborn, lazy, or complacent to make an effort and do something about it. This is my life. Not my husband’s life. Not my kids’ life. Mine. And how I live it, react to it, better it, is up to me.

This little pep talk is coming out of my fingers, but I have to be honest and say I’m not really feeling it. Or at least I have no conclusions about what to do about it in actions. I’m ‘planning’ on studying up on a couple things. I ‘want’ to buy a couple things that I think might help me. I’ll list them out here, but I don’t know when or if I’ll have the money to do any of it. Motivation is another matter entirely. Stupid situation with treadmill cords is a whole other problem.

1) I want to buy some kind of waist cincher. Kind of like a corset, but I want to wear it just to help get myself back in the habit of sucking my tummy in. Before I was married, back when I wore clothes that weren’t tents and when I could have a flat stomach if I didn’t walk around with my back arched in – I used to hold my stomach in all the time. All the time. And it wasn’t even conscious because it was such a habit. Then when I got pregnant and stopped holding it in, I’ve never gotten that habit back and my stomach muscles reflect that (deep under the pudge). So I want to get something to improve my posture and help me regain that habit just until I can do it on my own. I have a few prospects that I found online. If I could think of where to get a good one in a store, I would go try it on first.

2) I want to buy some cream that has some bio-available-identical horm0nes in it. It has been recommended to me by someone that I trust implicitly and now it is just a matter of buying it and starting to use it. I can’t afford to get my hormones checked out and I don’t know what to ask for anyway, but I want to go visit her and have her talk to me about it. I just don’t know how to ask her if I can come and have her just talk to me for a while. I guess I could just call??? Working on this one.

3) Going to check out a couple books. Eat 4 Your Blood Type and Joy’s Life Diet. Then need to decide on a definite course of action to improve my eating habits. Binged last night after breaking my fast. Not good.

Okay, well I have to go get ready to go to the office this afternoon. I’m really dreading it this time, but I just keep telling myself how I’m saving up for our floors and that I’ll be able to quit after that. Quit again.

I also need to write about a talk I watched yesterday from the BYU Education week, but no time now. And I hear K2 getting into stuff upstairs – mischief.


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February 25, 2009 at 7:27 pm (Uncategorized)

So, my last post from this morning got…. 109 views people. Very strange considering I’d assumed the 0-17 views I’ve gotten on my blog in the past were flukes of random searches. So the question is, what words did I use that set off some search engine somewhere and sent 109 people rushing over to read my boring post about reasons I ‘couldn’t’ exercise last night and how K2 woke me up so early today I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through my fast. If I was technically savvy enough, perhaps I could figure out where all these people were coming from? But I’m not, so I’ll leave it as a bizarre, mysterious spike on my Stats chart.

I did make it through my fast, having dinner at approximately 5:15 PM. I took a nap this afternoon, which certainly helped pass the time without incident in the fridge. Too bad that I still won’t be working out tonight. The switching-to-DVD-input problem has been solved but I really don’t feel like doing T-Tapp tonight, and I still can’t run. I suppose its possible I’ll convince myself to T-Tapp later tonight, but its not likely. I also had two helpings of dinner, a chocolate white chunk cookie, and a small glass of Nesquik within 20 minutes. Not very ‘controlled’ of me.

I found out today that I’m blood type O+. I’m going to do some research into blood type diets. Also going to do some research into Joy Bauer’s Life Diet.

It is 6:30 and it will be bath time for the kids soon. Not much else going on.

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Fasting – way to make it difficult, K2

February 25, 2009 at 10:37 am (Uncategorized)

K2 woke up crying at 6 AM. Now, I know that is not early for many mothers, their kids regularly get up in the pre-dawn hours. But I am used to my kids sleeping in until 8 or later whenever they are allowed. And when I say used to it, I mean K2 is 18 months old and it has probably been over a year since he’s woken me up that early.

I got him to calm down and placed him in bed with me after changing his diaper. I rubbed his legs while he laid there and then I tried to doze off. He never went back to sleep, but he did lay there for about an hour just relaxing with his blanket and thumb. But at 7 AM he’d had about enough lying around and he got up and got off the bed and headed downstairs. So then I had to get up, too. Double ugh.

So now it is shortly after 9 AM and I’m tired and feel like I’ve been up for ages. None of this helps with my fast today, especially since I’ve been battling pretty strong hunger for about an hour already. Some water has helped, but I have quite a while to go. K’s nephew is here, but it was a pleasant surprise to find out when his dad dropped him off that he’ll be back to pick O up at around 11:30. Not a full day like I’d thought it was going to be. He’s not any trouble, it just adds to the work to have another child around.

I don’t think there’s anything else going on today. I have to do some homework and email some numbers to our tax guy – result of our tax appointment yesterday. And I should do some cleaning and perhaps some laundry.

I didn’t exercise last night. I found myself having a dillemma. K had unhooked our old TV in the middle of the night Monday and hooked up the one we are buying from K’s sister – it is a Magnavox 37″ TV that is quite nice. But, there are a couple problems. 1) They didn’t give us the power cord. Now, I solved that problem temporarily Tues morning by using the power cord from my treadmill – just experimenting since the holes looked the same to see if it worked. It did. But I can’t watch TV and run at the same time if the treadmill power cord is powering the TV. I almost had K stop yesterday afternoon on our way back from some errands to get one, but he said that his sister has the cord they just forgot to bring it. He said he’d get it from them after work last night (so I’d have it this morning) and I didn’t think that would be a problem because I was going to do T-Tapp last night. Problem #2) They also don’t have a remote for this TV, which we thought would be fine because we use our Dish Network remote. But the Dish Network remote is working the satellite just fine and we can change channels and everything, but it isn’t working on the actual TV. So volume … and switching inputs to show the DVD input … isn’t working. So I couldn’t get the DVD player to work with the TV last night and therefore couldn’t do T-Tapp, either. I don’t have it memorized well enough to do it without the DVD. I thought about kicking P out of my room and doing it up there, but she was watching her customary cartoon before bed-time and was all settled in.

So, bottom line is I didn’t exercise last night. And I’m facing the same problems this morning – I was going to run today but I still don’t have a power cord because K didn’t get it from his sister last night – “they have to find it” was the response I got from him when I mumbled at him in the middle of the night when he came to bed. And I still don’t know how to get the DVD to work.

Choices – 1) I can do T-Tapp upstairs when K2 goes down for his nap. 2) I can go out and buy a power cord and run this afternoon or tonight. 3) I can take one of the dogs for an outdoor walk/jog. 4) I can try and figure out how to get the DVD player to work on the TV. I’ll probably do this one regardless of where and how I exercise today because it needs to be done whether we have a remote or power cord or not. K might have it hooked up wrong.

Since I’m also not eating today, it would be to my benefit to keep busy. I’ve considered taking a nap when K gets up, but then it might be harder to get to sleep tonight so we’ll see.

231 this morning – again kind of disappointing after not eating anything all evening.

For how much time and energy I waste/spend on thinking about and planning my weight loss endeavors, I’m not seeing equal returns at all. Makes me want to figure out what I’m doing wrong. Undoubtedly, eating too much. Dangit.

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Title goes here, but I can’t think of one

February 24, 2009 at 10:16 am (Uncategorized)

Last night after I ran for 50 minutes, I dove into the apple crisp that a friend left on my doorstep while I was putting the kids down. I swear, best apple crisp I’ve ever had. It was a birthday present, and she included a recipe card for that and one other thing that she makes that I love with the b-day card. So nice.

Anyway, I ate half the small pan of apple crisp before I started to feel like that was enough. Since I didn’t have dinner it wasn’t as much damage as it could have been, but it still wasn’t good. Especially since it was after 9 PM.

After that I stayed up watching TV until about 11:45, then went to take a shower. Suffice to say I didn’t get to bed until after midnight. P came in and got in bed with me after a few hours – not sure exactly when. But she’d only been sleeping in K’s spot for a few minutes when he came and let the dogs out, which if I wake up for it, is my signal that he is home from work. And then when he came to bed, I guess he didn’t feel like moving her, because he went and slept in her bed and he’s still there.

P did go to school this morning. The only way we could have gone to Cave of the Winds was if K2 could walk or be carried the whole way, and I wasn’t prepared to risk having to carry his 30 lbs around for a couple hours. No strollers. They’ll probably go without us, and I hope they do because then they can tell me what its like so I can be prepared when we do get to go. I’ll have to take K2 with me to pick up P, because K is supposedly getting up any minute to leave for Thornton to go pick up an aerator. And he has to be back by 2:30 so we can go to our tax appt at 3:00. I think I can hear his phone alarm going off upstairs right now. Which probably means K2 can hear it in his room and he’s going to want out soon.

So I plan on spending the morning doing a little cleaning, playing with K2 a little, and getting the paperwork ready to haul to our tax guy’s office. I’m dreading it, and that doesn’t even really describe how I feel about this. I think we’re going to have a problem, plus we’re going to owe taxes. But that’s not even the highest on my worry list. But I don’t want to get into that here. I just want to skip this afternoon and have it be this evening.

Tonight I think my parents will come pick us up so we can all go to dinner one last time before my SIL leaves tomorrow morning. K will be working, so we’ll have to squeeze 4 adults and 4 kids into the Pilot. Should be interesting. After dinner there, which I’m going to try and limit to perhaps a salad and an appetizer, I’m going to start a fast tonight.

Was down to 230.5 this morning. Hopefully within a few days I’ll have the weekend worked off and will be back down to 227 and dropping. I’ll probably do another fast this weekend, perhaps Saturday night to Sunday.

Well, that’s about it from here. I know this isn’t very interesting or enlightening, but I’m glad I have this stuff written down so I can remember. I’m notorious for not having memories of things that should be imprinted on my brain.

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Damaging weekend

February 23, 2009 at 8:42 pm (Uncategorized)

Weight and health wise, it was a damaging weekend. But it was a great weekend so I’m not going to regret any of it.

To sum up:
Friday morning, the kids and I went with my SIL and her two kids to Bear Creek Park where K2 got to climb and slide for the first time he could climb up by himself. The kids swung on the swings and slid a bunch and then when my mom joined us from her doc appt, we went on a mini hike interspersed with pauses to snack on Strawberry Fig Newtons. It was a nice little hike, with a couple of pretty steep patches for those of us pushing strollers. But the kids were having a blast. At the top of the hill we paused to enjoy the view and rest before going back down, and I got a call from James Irwin Charter School telling me P had gotten picked in their lottery to go to kindergarten there this fall. Which was a surprise for me because I thought she’d missed the lottery and was on a waiting list. Regardless of how it happened, I had 3 days to come in and sign the letter of acceptance to formally reserve her spot. So while I chewed on that for a while, we went back down the hill and loaded everyone up to head off to Panera for some lunch before going home.
After Panera, we came back to the house and I sent my SIL off with the kids while Mom waited for me to pack up some clothes for my two for the weekend. And then I sent her off, and we were miraculously, strangely, alone for 2 days.

We spent the afternoon lounging around the oddly quiet house watching a movie and talking. Then we packed our things and headed off to check into our hotel, which we thought was just a mile up the road. We had to stop by K’s employee/friend’s house to get a check for a business deal that was going to pay for our weekend. And then we spent the next 2 hours getting more and more upset. We couldn’t find anywhere that would cash the KeyBank money order after bank hours – not Walmart, King Soupers, or all the “check cashing” places we went to. Then we gave up for a while to go check in and were told that the reservation that K had made there was actually at another Marriott in town way on the north end. She even pointed it out on a map. So we headed up there in the worsening weather, wondering how the number for the hotel we’d wanted had planted us so far north. But we got there and it wasn’t that Marriott, either. So we headed to the one that K had thought she’d meant before she pointed it out on the map, which was south and west, the “full service” one. And sure enough, they had our reservation. But they couldn’t take us because we were going to pay cash, cash we didn’t have yet, and they wanted to put a hold on all the necessary funds for 2 nights on our debit card. But our debit card doesn’t have that much on it – that’s why we needed cash from the check that it looked like we weren’t going to be able to cash until Saturday morning.

By this time, K, easy-going, laid back K, was livid. He was ready to call our BIL and his sister who were watching our house to tell them we were coming home. But I asked him if I did the talking and he didn’t have to deal with her, would he be okay if I could convince the first hotel lady (where we’d wanted to stay all along) to trust us to pay cash in the morning and let us stay there. I’d already called incognito just to see if she had rooms available and what the rate was, and it was cheaper than our reservation rate anyway.

So, I called her. I told her the whole story about driving everywhere, not being able to cash the check, not being able to stay where our reservation was because of the absence of funds on our debit card, wanting to stay there in the first place, etc. And she said to come on over and they’d make it happen. I got emotional at that point, having wound tighter and tighter over the previous 2 hours of K being so irritable with the situation. She told me to breathe and I thanked her profusely and told her we were going to get something to eat and then we’d be over. At this point, neither of us wanted to eat in a sit-down, waiter-d restaurant, so we went to Chipotle and had very satisfying burritos. After taking off the appetite edge, we headed back across town to the original hotel and dealt with that same girl, who was very nice (good thing since she’d sent us on a bit of a goose chase). We left our things in our pretty, relatively new, room, and headed off to possibly see a movie. We found our movie, bought our tickets, and had about 30 minutes to kill so we went to a nearby Walmart and I got some candy after we looked at a couple things we’re thinking of buying.

The movie we saw was Taken, which was very intense and entertaining. The theater was almost empty, which was great since the more crowded the theater, the higher the chances you’re going to sit in front of a chronic-chair-kicker. It was a late movie, so when we got back to the room we pretty much just wanted to sleep. We watched TV for a while and then snuggled in – to not sleep very well on the QUITE comfy bed. Weird, but true.

In the morning, I got up about 9:30 to go check out the breakfast spread. I got dressed in sweats and a t-shirt and headed down there, only to march right back to the room when I saw the abundance to convince K to get up and come with me. There was fruit, fruit juices, cold cereal in the those cute little boxes, milk, yogurt, oatmeal w/ various toppings to choose from, bagels, pastries, english muffins, egg patties, sausage, bread, a waffle maker with syrup. I think that’s about it. It was quite impressive. So we had a nice breakfast and went to get ready to go cash our check. After cashing it at the nearby KeyBank we went right back to pay for our two-night stay as we’d promised.

And then we were off for our day’s adventures as a couple with no kids in tow. And we spent basically the whole day window-shopping (from inside the stores). We compared all the TVs at Sams Club to Walmart – 3 different Walmarts. We went to Home Depot and looked at flooring options. We went to lunch and then kept window shopping. We finally headed back to the room in the late afternoon to change into swimming suits and go take advantage of the pool and hot tub, which we delayed for a few minutes in our room in hopes of the pool emptying out from the few people in it. And it did and we had it all to ourselves for the 45 minutes or so that we were down there. We’d never been in a pool or a hot tub together in our 5.5 years of marriage, so it was something fun to do together.

After we got dried off and dressed upstairs, we headed out for some dinner at Macaroni Grill and after dinner we checked out the dollar movie theater in case there was something we wanted to see. We were going to see Quantam of Solace but it wasn’t showing anymore due to technical difficulties (the reel probably broke), so we saw Seven Pounds with Will Smith. I cried.

We got back to the room a little before midnight and we were both pretty tired. We watched some TV and then went to sleep – poorly, again. I woke up Sunday morning for that fabo breakfast spread again, but this time I had to enjoy it alone because K didn’t wake up until about 11. I watched TV and relaxed after breakfast while I waited for him to wake up and for the last minute that I had to get ready so we could check out by noon. We showered, packed up, and left – sad to see our time there over. At home, we hung out with C, the BIL watching our house since K’s sister was still asleep, for about an hour and then we headed off to Monument to spend some time with my SIL and parents and to get our kids. UP there, I basically made most of my own b-day dinner since it was something we were experimenting with per my request. It turned out yummy, but I learned some stuff about how to make it next time I try it.

After dinner we hung out for a couple hours, cooked some brownies and left after dessert to come home for some much-needed rest for us and the kids. They had a blast without us, but I think they were glad to have us back. ๐Ÿ™‚

Anyway, that about sums up the activities without a lot of details as to conversations and such. We had such a great time talking and laughing and just hanging out together alone for a while. I’m so glad we did it, and I’m sad its over. But it is nice to get back to business as usual, though its taking me a little time to get my ‘head in the game’. ๐Ÿ™‚

Today, we went to James Irwin to sign the letter of acceptance and then we went and signed K up for the GED test, which he is going to take on April 7th. After we got home, my SIL and mom came and got P and I so we could all go to lunch (I left K2 behind with K so he could get a nap). We went to Johnny Carinos, which was delicious. I’ve spent most of the afternoon dinking around on the computer. I made a quick noodle, tuna casserole for the kids for dinner, but I haven’t eaten since Carino’s.

This weekend of no exercise and rich foods put me back up to 232.5 this morning. I’m assuming some of that is water retention from being dehydrated basically all weekend, but I ate a lot don’t get me wrong. Today hasn’t been too bad since I’ve only had 2 meals with a little bit of chocolate.

I plan on running after the kids are in bed tonight. I would have done it this afternoon if I could have gotten it together mentally, but I was also really full from the meal at the restaurant. I’m pretty sure I’m going to start a fast tomorrow night until Wednesday night.

Tomorrow will be pretty busy. I’m going to pull P from school so that we can go to Cave of the Winds with my mom and SIL since this is our last day for activity; SIL leaves Wed morning. Then, K and I have our tax appt for our 2008 taxes at 3 in the afternoon. I don’t know when I’m going to the office this week, but it won’t be until Thursday at the earliest. Wed we’re also watching K’s nephew – that’s an annoying story in and of itself. They wanted us to watch him today too, but I’d already told K’s other sister that I couldn’t watch HER kid today with too much going on. And they never actually asked us to watch the boy today or Wed – it was an imaginary conversation they had with K in their own heads. Okay, I’m not going to talk about that anymore, because I get too annoyed.

All quite eventful. Things should be settling back down after tomorrow to be more routine. P might have a couple of playdates coming up, but hopefully I can spread them out so they are only one a week, and maybe not this week since there’s already so much going down.

I’ve rambled on quite enough. I think I’ve recorded everything I need to remember. Phew…..a long one. Sorry.

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Unrealistic, but disappointed nonetheless

February 19, 2009 at 11:08 am (Uncategorized)

Last night when I got home from work, K had dinner almost ready – some quite tasty enchiladas.

After dinner I waited for my mom and SIL to arrive with her kids for a visit. And waited. And waited. They finally arrived at about 7:20, a time I’m usually starting to think about getting K2 ready for bed. They stayed until 9. It was good to visit, and nice to have them here and see my SIL and her kids. But I didn’t put K2 down until 8:45, and P not until after they left at 9. But I hadn’t had my yogurt, and I hadn’t exercised.

So, after I put P down for bed, I got changed and came down to set up the treadmill and run. Even though I got started after 9:15, I ran/walked for 50 minutes. Then I did a few pushups and tricep ups (don’t know the name for that).

When I got done it was well after 10. And I decided it was too late to eat my yogurt or anything else for that matter. And I didn’t have anything. Let me say that again. AND I DIDN’T HAVE ANYTHING. I watched the rest of Biggest Loser that I’d been watching while I worked out, I turned off the TV, and I went upstairs to shower and go to bed. I was very tired as I got in the shower, and shortly after I got in, P came into the bathroom crying. I tried to comfort her with words from inside the shower while she sat on the potty almost the entire time I showered. But she cried pretty much the whole time. She was forcing it, though, so I hurried but I didn’t hurry frantically. After I got out, dried off and pajamas on, I held her for a while and rubbed her legs since she said they hurt. Then I put her back to bed and went to bed myself. That was about 11:15, but it took me a while to get to sleep unfortunately. And I didn’t sleep great. Around 3 AM I got up to go the the bathroom, and K wasn’t in bed yet, though I was pretty sure he was home.

Yesterday morning, the day after my fast, I weighed in at 227. I have to admit that after not eating anything past dinner last night and working out so hard, I thought perhaps I’d be below that today. So I was a little disappointed when I weighed in at 227 again this morning. But I’m not going to let that number dictate ceasing my efforts. I’m doing pretty good at eating reasonably, not binging at night, and working out most days. I have to believe that joined with some ESE days, that I’ll be able to start shedding some weight. And I guess that first 3 pounds is a good start. I don’t have to see a change on the scale every day to know I’m doing well. Right? Right????

Well, I’ll proceed. I still haven’t decided which days next week will be fasting days. But I don’t have another one planned until at least next Monday.

Tomorrow is our mini-vacation! Can’t wait!

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Coming off the fast

February 18, 2009 at 12:13 pm (Uncategorized)

I posted yesterday about my busy day during the fast. Part of the business was spent making my first ever sweet n sour chicken. It turned out pretty good, and I’ve already made some notes about how to make it a little better next time.

After I posted last night, I spent some time with the kids and then cleaned up the kitchen and did the dishes. Then I put the kids to bed and worked out. I did a T-Tapp TWO, but I didn’t do the whole thing. I went for about 45 minutes, basically until Hoe-Downs. But I was losing my form and was really tired so I stopped there. I’m happy with my effort, though I think if I can do it in the afternoon, it is easier to do the whole thing.

Then, I immediately went to the kitchen for my snack. ๐Ÿ™‚ Sad, a little. But I did have a good moment. I decided that the bagel from Panera was two days old and that I should eat that for sure. So I did, and it was very yummy. As soon as I finished it, I headed back into the kitchen to have the yogurt I’ve been pining after for 2 days. And I held it in my hand, looked at the calorie content, thought about my workout and how I’d already had a very satisfying bagel …. how the yogurt would keep and be just as good the next day, or even the next. And I put it back, closed the fridge, and walked away.

And didn’t have anything else to eat all evening. YAY ME!!!!

Today, I haven’t eaten yet. I woke up at 9 and came downstairs after getting dressed to start breakfast, and realized I had a message from a fellow-mom. The kids were supposed to be at her house for a playdate in 15 minutes, and she had just remembered to send me directions to her house. Ooops! I’d totally forgotten. So its a good thing she called! Anyway, after getting the kids ready to go and giving them bothย a quick breakfast, I got them over there shortly before 10 and came back to the house to get ready to go to the office ……

Now I’m ready to go, and I’ll leave in about 5 minutes to go get the kids. After getting ready, I finally had breakfast at 11 AM, my regular oatmeal. I’m going to take a hard boiled egg, string cheese, some carrots, and an apple to work with me, which will hopefully keep me out of any and all chocolate jars located on various desks. Hoping for a productive, quick afternoon, so I can get home and make dinner and see my DH before he heads out to work. I will run tonight on the treadmill while watching Biggest Loser – I watched American Idol last night to save BL for tonight.

Not sure what the next days hold in store – my SIL got here last night but I haven’t seen or spoken to her yet. I’m assuming I’ll hear from them (her and my mom) sometime today to arrange to do something tomorrow. If I don’t do anything with her tomorrow, I’ll go visiting teaching with my companion from church to meet the sisters that we visist since we just gotย a new route.

Gotta go…. hope everyone is happy and in control today!!!

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Good day

February 17, 2009 at 6:58 pm (Uncategorized)

Today has been a good day. I got up at about 8:45, leisurely got the kids ready for the day. I didn’t have to waste time feeding myself breakfast since I was fasting today. Last night was difficult; I got a little crabby. But I didn’t eat anything after finishing the cobblestone from Panera right after dinner. Turned the TV off shortly after 10 to take a shower and then studied my scriptures for a few minutes before lights out.

Anyway, this morning. After the kids were ready for the day, I left K2 on the bed with K, watching cartoons, and P and I headed off to her field trip to Pappa Teddy’s, a pizzaria nearby. I had to follow the school bus with another mom that also hadn’t signed up to go since she also didn’t know if she’d be able to. So we had a nice chat, and then met up with the kids at the restaurant. The guy back in the kitchen gave them a cute little demo of how to make a crust by throwing it up in the air, which they all found very entertaining. Then, they ate their pizza and had their drink. I purposely hadn’t paid for myself to have a slice since I was fasting. The teacher actually tried to feed my anyway when she saw how much pizza was going to be leftover, but I resisted. Yay me! It was remarkably easy since the decision had already been made. The pizza looked really good, but since I didn’t even know that restaurant was there or that it was so nice, all that made me do was decide we should go there during regular hours sometime as a family. On a day when I’m not fasting. ๐Ÿ™‚ The kids all had a good time and enjoyed their pizza and socializing, and that’s what’s important. Then they got back on the bus and myself and the other mom headed back separately to meet them at the school and go home.

After picking P up and coming home, I hung out with her K2 and K for a little less than an hour and then headed off to get my hair cut at Veda. I got it trimmed, shaped, and thinned and it looks really good right now. ๐Ÿ™‚ Too bad I won’t be able to re-create this look completely. When I got home around 2:40, K and I spent some quality time together while P played on the computer downstairs. Then, I started dinner. I roughly followed some recipes and made sweet ‘n’ sour chicken with rice, which turned out very good for my first attempt to make it. Next time I’ll try to have more veggies on hand to add to it, but it was yummy anyway. That broke my fast, and now I just need to keep my snackage this evening under control. I’m definitely going to have a yogurt, but will strive to limit myself to just that.

I also need to exercise tonight, and have already changed into workout clothes. I’m going to do a T-Tapp workout tonight and then watch Biggest Loser, although maybe I should save Biggest Loser for tomorrow night to watch while I run. For some reason I like to run while watching that show.

Tomorrow, nothing is happening in the morning and in the afternoon I’m going into the office. I don’t think there’s going to be another good day this week for a fast, so I will wait until next week to try and get in 2 per week. For now, today has given me hope that this method will work for a weight loss method and will help me to control my habits when I am eating knowing that I can go completely without and have the anticipation of waiting to eat something.

I’ll let you know what I weigh in tomorrow morning at. I didn’t weigh this morning after an evening of no eating, but I weighed in Monday morning at 230.5, so hopefully tomorrow morning will see a drop at least below that.

Getting way excited about our mini-vacation this weekend. The arrangements have all been made, even reservations at a local hotel. Yay!!

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Plan of attack

February 16, 2009 at 11:25 am (Uncategorized)

Going to sum this up without a lot of explanation. Because a lot of explanation seems to be the set-up for me to talk myself out of something, or to wimp out.

Going to go back to Eat Stop Eat sort of method. Fasting a couple times a week. Still going to write everything down that I eat. First fast will start tonight after dinner until tomorrow’s dinner. Too bad I’ll be fasting during P’s field trip to a pizzeria tomorrow. But that will just have to happen.

Days of normal eating will still strive to stick to 3 meals and a couple of reasonable snacks. Still trying to exercise in the afternoon if schedule permits. Like today planning on running after K2 goes down for nap. Tomorrow will do T-Tapp during K2’s nap, if I’m not off getting my hair cut. I should keep extra busy tomorrow to distract from the fasting.

Back up to 230 this morning and since my TOM is over, I can’t attribute it to unusual water weight. I’ve gained about 5 pounds.

Wednesday, going into the office in the afternoon. Don’t know what is happening on Thursday, but my SIL will be in town and we might be doing stuff. Friday the same, but Friday night K and I are planning on leaving the kids with my parents and staying in a hotel for Friday and Saturday night with Saturday spent together all day, alone. We might go do something, or we might just lounge around the hotel all day. We’ll see. Sunday we’ll return to get the kids and have a b-day dinner with my family and SIL.

Saturday is my 33rd birthday. And I’m 5 pounds heavier than I was when I had my epiphane about needing to lose weight by my 33rd birthday. Suck.

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Bored and out of sorts

February 13, 2009 at 11:13 am (Uncategorized)

That’s how I felt yesterday, and it made the struggle with/against food very difficult. I think I prevailed, sort of. Could have done better, but could have done so much worse.

The only part I’ll write out here is that after dinner and the kids were in bed, I re-convinced myself to exercise. But since I’d already decided to do nothing, I didn’t make it all the way back to full effort. I walked briskly for 40 minutes, with a few intervals of sharp incline. Slightly disappointed in myself for not running, but it just wasn’t in me last night. Then, I drank a lot of water and had 2 fruit snacks packages accompanied each time with a small handful of almonds. Those cinnamon-brown sugar almonds are like candy! So, as far as night-time snacks go it could have been worse. But I still wish I’d limited myself to one fruit snack package.

Today is Friday. Niece is here, so we have an extra kid. K got home at 2 AM, which I’m hoping means he will get up earlier than usual since that is 2 or 3 hours earlier than his usual arrival time. I plan on exercising this afternoon, and then maybe taking a nap. Might rent a pay-per-view tonight – there are a few I wouldn’t mind seeing. Have niece again tomorrow, but only until 2:30 or so.

Got paid today – not sure when I’ll go and spend it on myself for birthday. Maybe I’ll call today and make a hair appointment for next week and go get my shoes that same day.

Having a really bad break-out on various areas of my face. They hurt. I’m hoping that the reason I’m breaking out is a mixture of hormones from TOM this week, body brushing again and getting my lymphatic system working, and exercise and healthier eating. Working out toxins through my face? Unpleasant and unatractive, but hoping that those reasons mean it will pass soon.

Fish’s soon-to-be new owners came and got him last night for a weekend trip to Texas. So he won’t be back until Sunday night, maybe Monday morning. Can you say hallelujah? I wasn’t woken up one time with dog-teeth grinding. It was awesome.

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