Going to be Gone

June 24, 2009 at 9:44 am (General Life Updates)

After spending most of today getting ready (at least that’s the plan), I will be leaving tonight for a week-long trip with my parents and my kids to Utah for a family reunion. We’re spending the night at their house and leaving first thing in the morning. I’m really excited, but a little overwhelmed with how much I’ve procrastinated all the preparation. I’ve made some lists to make sure I get to it all today, and in a minute I’m going to turn off the computer to ensure that I don’t keep sitting down here like it is my habit to do after completing a task.

Honestly, I’m hoping my brother will have his laptop with him and we can go find some wi-fi somewhere at some point during the week. I just don’t know if I can go for a full week without checking email and reading some blogs. Addicted much?? Realistically, though, I’m hoping to be so busy having fun that I don’t think about it. And how fun is it going to be to check in with all my favorite blogs and lots of emails after a week away?

So probably no posting for anyone that might be reading. Thanks for stopping by and I’ll be back in a week with a journal entry about the trip and my how weight loss went while I was away.

Oh, and as a note to self, I want to add my blogroll back onto my blog when I get back. There are so many wonderful blogs I’ve been reading lately I figure I’ll share the list I’ve collected in case someone needs some ideas.

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Caveat

June 23, 2009 at 8:22 pm (Uncategorized)

In case someone misunderstand, I am not saying that Eat Stop Eat (I already own the original book by Brad) or Cheat Your Way Thin wouldn’t work for someone. I know ESE is great and works wonders for folks, and I’m sure CYWT is a successful way of life. I was just meaning that I don’t need to spend more money for a different plan at this time. I don’t have budget for it, but I wouldn’t have even considered buying CYWT (before I talked myself down) if I didn’t think it would work.

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Is it not working because a different plan would be better

June 23, 2009 at 3:47 pm (Plan)

Or because I’m not sticking to my own plan right now? If I were to go back and read my history of dieting, etc., I would see that my diet plans stop giving me results about the same time I stop following them strictly. And I think that’s what’s happening now. I’m tempted to switch my plans, get some new-fangled, pretty, shiny plan. But I really think that what I was doing was great. It was working. The last couple of weeks have been rife with unique stresses and healthy eating days, but also with binges and days I just don’t try at all. No wonder I’ve plateaued, and in the last couple days since the crash, gained a little. Duh! And I haven’t worked out since the race early Saturday morning; the huge bruise on my leg has given me a great excuse to sit on my butt a lot.

This morning I got an email from Brad of Eat Stop Eat (his newsletter) where he interviews a guy that invented “Cheat Your Way Thin.” And once I’d looked at the special promotion being offered over there I almost spend $47 to get a shiny new bauble, in this case the bauble being a new “plan”. But I talked myself down, mainly by telling myself the promotion goes until Friday and if I still want it I have time. The more I think about my reasoning for wanting it, though, the more I realize it is just because I haven’t seen much results in the last few weeks. BUT THAT IS BECAUSE I HAVEN’T BEEN FOLLOWING MY PLAN. That was working. That works. I don’t need to spend money on a new plan.

I DO need to start spending money on food that will be good for me, but that won’t trigger me. Every once in a while I have to draw back, check in with the reality of my binging, and eliminate all trigger-foods from the house. I DO need to keep working out. I DO need to keep track of my snacks and not think that because I had a light breakfast I can eat 10 snacks instead of 2. I DO need to include produce in every one of my meals and snacks.

That’s what I need to do. So instead of looking for a new pretty toy program, I need to follow the one I have that ISN’T broken.

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Almost Trip Time

June 23, 2009 at 9:51 am (General Life Updates)

The insurance adjuster is supposed to be here between 9:30 and 10:30. It is now 9:46 as I start to type this. I’m hoping he gets here soon because I need to go get ready to go to the office.

Tomorrow night, we’ll be spending the night at my parents’ in preparation for an early departure for Utah on Thursday morning. I’m excited for this trip, if a little nervous about what it will mean for my weight loss efforts. The last few days have been not-so-good in that area, and I want to be firmly back on track before we go, despite the fact that the snacks I saw my mom purchase (and let’s face it, helped her pick out) for the trip – all extremely tempting. I’m going to be taking my blender so my little bro and I can make breakfast smoothies/green monsters; I found out yesterday that house we’ll be staying in¬†is not equipped with one. ….. insurance adjuster is here, write more later.

Well he told me he’s going to be out there assessing damage and doing paperwork and taking pictures for about an hour. Now I’m not sure how to handle that; maybe I have time to go upstairs and take a shower and then get dressed quickly so I’m available if he’s done in a half hour? ….. Hope that works because I can’t wait until he’s done to get at least the shower done. Later.

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Saturday: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

June 22, 2009 at 12:18 pm (Daily Workouts/Eats, General Life Updates, Success Story)

The Good
This could also be titled “The Great“, but that’s not the name of the movie. ūüôā Got up at 5:05 AM Saturday morning, so excited and nervous about the race I could barely concentrate. I started getting ready rather groggily, but since I’d miraculously gone to sleep at about 10:20 I woke up pretty fast. I got ready, packed up the last few things I wanted to take and loaded the stroller into the back of the truck. Then I started waking the kids, P first and then K2. It was harder to wake P than it was to wake K2, but they were both sleepy and lacking energy for a while. Mom arrived and we loaded up and headed out to downtown.

Parking was a breeze since the street meters don’t start their hours until 9 AM and we got there at 6:20. We were able to park just across the street from the park with the starting and finish lines. We loaded the kids into the stroller and wrapped sweaters and blankets around them; it wasn’t really cold, but it was overcast and early and they weren’t moving around to keep warm. Then we walked over to the crowd where I tried to get some information about where to go and how to do this. Found out that I kept the tag on my number throughout the race and was supposed to rip it off and hand it to the volunteers at the finish line. No checking in necessary. An announcer got on a loudspeaker occasionally and told us all what time it was and where to gather for the 5K or 10K. We lapped the park a few times while I jogged a little, stretched, fixed my sock, checked my shoelaces, went to the bathroom at the Y across the street, and eventually split off from Mom and the kids to duck under the yellow tape and gather with the pack at the starting line in our green-cone lane for the 5K. I was in the back of the pack, but that didn’t bother me any.

And then a lady came over the loudspeaker to explain how she was going to say G-O, and we were¬†not to¬†trample each other. And then she said it, “GO!” It took a few second before the back even started to move, though we all started to kind of jog in place. Slowly the congestion moved forward and as we went about 1/2 a block we were able to move freely and everyone spread out over the street.

I had my Zune cranked high and tried to pace myself a little faster than I’d normally run on my own but not so fast that I would have to walk. Up the street, over a street, down the street, up the street on the other side, down, up. I settled toward the back of the runners of the 5K and in front of the walkers. A few people kept running, walking, running, walking, right near me so I’d pass them, then they’d pass me, etc. It was kind of annoying, but I tried to ignore them and just keep my pace steady. The course was almost entirely flat, so hills weren’t a factor. It was nice and cool since it was completely cloudy. And I ran. There was a clock on a building sign for a business, and since I ran past it and then past it again on the way up the street, I could tell I was making pretty good time – better than I’d anticipated. As I turned the last corner and went down the straight stretch to the finish line, Kid Rock came on my Zune and I decided to kick it up a bit since I could see the finish. But I underanticipated how far 3 blocks are and slowed back down to just a little faster than my whole-race pace about a block from the end. As I ran into the cones, the guy called my name out and I heard some cheering. I saw Mom with the kids, she was trying to snap pictures. And I ran it in! I was feeling quite euphoric, proud of myself for running the whole thing and sticking with a good pace, and I saw that the clock said 35:59! Four minutes faster than I’d made my goal! I knew that wasn’t the official time, since that was just the last time I looked at the clock. I looked up my time today, and it was 36:20. Still, my goal was 40 minutes so I was very pleased.

I jogged down the cone pathway, ripped off my tag and gave it to the volunteers, and then got a water and stood in line for the free stuff table. Mom and the kids came and found me. I eventually got through the line to take some of the free samples and load my pockets (looking back I wish I’d taken more:), and then get some bagels & cream cheese from the Bruegger’s bagel table. We let the kids play at the slide park for a few minutes while I stretched half-heartedly and then we walked to the truck to load up.

Driving home, we passed Memorial Park and saw the set-up for Spring Spree, a carnival kind of like gathering with no rides (some bouncy castles, though). We decided to stop; it was only 8:30 at this point. Parking was simple, we found out that was because it hadn’t officially started yet. So we walked around and looked the wares, tried a sample, got some coupons. The kids got some balloons contorted into shapes by a cloud named Q-Ball. And it started to rain, so we hightailed it out of there. We were home from all this adventure by about 10.

After a shower and some lunch and putting K2 down for a nap, P and I decided to run some errands since K2 came home to sleep anyway. We went to Vitamin Cottage, Borders, and Famous Footwear. We didn’t buy much, but it was enjoyable to just look.

At about 3 we headed home……..

The Bad
Turning into our housing area on a left hand turn. Was in the intersection waiting for a gap in traffic. The light turned yellow, waited for a few cars to go through, and I THOUGHT the last two vehicles were stopping for the about-to-be-red. One did. One did not. I’m taking my left-hand turn when there’s a huge crashing sound, and all of the sudden the steering wheel is jerked from my grasp as the truck is somehow spinning to face the opposite direction from how we were. I might have screamed, P might have screamed. I don’t know. We came to a shuddering halt….. I’m thinking, this isn’t happening. What is happening. How did this HAPPEN? I reversed two times before I got us away from the curb in front of us so I could pull out of the intersection. I’ve already started to shake. P is wailing, “are they going to get rid of us?? are they going to shoot us??” Oh my gosh, what is she talking about, why would that be her reaction??? I still don’t know.

I stopped the truck, turned it off, and got out – my door didn’t want to open from the whole front of the frame of the truck being bent so badly. But I got out and went around the truck to open P’s door and give her a hug and make sure she was ok. And then I ran down the street a little ways to where the other car had pulled out of the street into an elementary school parking lot to make sure the other driver was ok. My leg had already started to hurt, but I jogged anyway.

Honestly, I don’t want to go into any more details than that. After that things just got worse, more surreal and awful. Police, I got a ticket, the attitude of the other driver, but more importantly the attitude of her family as they showed up. The nice, nice witnesses, one of whom actually went and fetched K since he wasn’t answering his phone. A blow by blow isn’t necessary I don’t think. Suffice it to say, insurance has been called. We don’t know what will happen but the truck isn’t driveable. Not even registered yet. We had it towed the .2 mile home. We walked. Me limping. I have a vicious bruise on my leg and invisible bruises from my seatbelt across my chest. But no one else was hurt – not the other driver and most importantly, not my daughter. I cried for almost the whole hour and a half that everything went down.

This is what insurance is for, and no one was seriously hurt. Those are the important things. But man, does it suck. And it especially sucked as a cap to a previously GREAT day.

The Ugly
And then that night I reacted to all this by ruining my wonderful race day of triumph with a binge. Don’t want to say anything more about that. Sunday was also pretty bad as far as food intake. Today will be better.

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Contest over on Missy’s blog

June 22, 2009 at 11:03 am (Uncategorized)

Missy at Missy Maintains is having an Amazing Grass product giveaway. I’ve never linked back, so I’m not sure I’m doing it right but this is my first effort. ūüôā

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Need to Write a Saturday Post

June 21, 2009 at 9:39 pm (General Life Updates)

Called The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. But I just don’t have it in me tonight. So I’ll write it tomorrow. Let’s just say Saturday was an eventful day. See you tomorrow.

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Wow, well-laid plans and all that

June 19, 2009 at 9:22 pm (Daily Workouts/Eats, General Life Updates)

Today went almost COMPLETELY different than I laid out in my post earlier today.

K got home from work and on the spur of the moment I asked if he wanted to go to the store with us for groceries since we rarely do anything as a family these days with how much he works. He upped my bid with a “how about we go out to eat?” another thing we rarely do since money is so tight. But today was payday, and it would be such a treat to go and WITH my husband, so we went to Red Robin. I ate too much, and wasn’t even sure I enjoyed it that much. But it was¬†a lesson learned to stick with what I KNOW I like, which is the salad I almost got. Hindsight.

After lunch, we stopped by the bank for me to deposit a check I’d been carrying around for a few days for some MK stuff that I’d sold. Then¬†on the way home I realized I didn’t really have a good list for grocery shopping, and that’s a disaster waiting to happen. So we went home, K put K2 to bed, and then put himself to bed while I made a list and then loaded up P to go back out.¬†She and I took our time, she picked out a purchase she¬†was going to make with her very own money. I got most of the things on my list, plus one (more on that later), and then we headed home.

On the way home I realized that¬†if I got changed REALLY fast and got right to it, I had time to do T-Tapp Tempo2 Intermediate before I’d have to get ready for¬†my niece’s b-day party. So that’s what I did. The workout was great, sweated buckets, and then hopped in the shower right away. Even with a cool¬†shower I was still sweating a little when I got¬†out, which I¬†hate, but I sucked it up and got ready as quickly as possible. Got P ready. Went in and got K2 ready, woke up K on our way down the stairs, and went to the party.

It was fun, conversation with my SIL’s and MIL, some good food (which I managed¬†not to overeat), and the kids always have a¬†blast all together. We got home¬†around¬†8:20,¬†so I put them straight to bed (that takes about 20 minutes) and now I’m writing this post!

So, I didn’t do a whole bunch of things on my list for today.¬†But it was a good day. I didn’t have an afternoon snack to make up for my overindulgence at lunch¬†(at least a little). And I¬†finally bit the bullet and bought myself my reward for hitting 200 (5¬†pounds ago, at least until last night’s binge), a pretty pink and clear glass ring with sterling silver that looks sparkly and pretty. I suppose an expert would know its not real, but I don’t care because it¬†sparkles.¬†It wasn’t¬†very expensive at Walmart and since I earned it almost 3 weeks ago I¬†felt it was about time. ūüôā Yay! I wore it tonight and couldn’t stop looking at it.¬†

I’ve decided I’ll officially qualify for the 195 reward when I stay¬†at or under 195 for a full week. Right now I’m bouncing around from 194 to 196 so its okay that I don’t¬†have the money for my 195 reward right now.

Well, the RACE is in less than 10 hours. Oh boy! I’m very nervous. I have the kids’ clothes laid out, mine laid out (except for 2 articles of clothing that I’m washing last minute to wear because I didn’t even¬†THINK about what I was going to wear until tonight). I’ve got to have us ready to go by a little before 6 so we can leave at 6, get downtown, park, walk to the¬†starting point¬†park, get checked in, etc. Race is at 7. oooooooohhhhh. Nerves.

Planning on going to bed as soon as I stick those clothes in the dryer. Hope I can get to sleep. Good luck me!

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New Day

June 19, 2009 at 10:42 am (Daily Workouts/Eats, Plan)

Moving on.

Had a yummy breakfast smoothy. I’m out of spinach, so I juiced some carrots for some vegetable content. I thought about using lettuce – can you use lettuce in green smoothies? My lettuce is questionable right now, though, so I didn’t brave it. Need to get some groceries. Anyway, I had about 5 oz of the carrot juice, 1/2 banana, 1/2 cup NF plain yogurt, 1/2 cup of frozen mango chunks, about a cup of frozen strawberries, and some stevia drops.

Today’s plan, now that I’ve spent an hour on the computer reading blogs, *commenting* (gasp), and writing posts, is to get up from here. First step.

  • Do dishes from yesterday and this morning
  • Put away clean clothes from laundry done yesterday
  • Do more laundry
  • Eat good lunch, feed kids good lunch
  • Get a few groceries to hold until next Wednesday when leaving for trip
  • Work out – T-Tapp today since race is IN THE MORNING!
  • Dust upstairs and vacuum upstairs
  • Shower, make myself presentable
  • Go to niece’s birthday party w/ kids
  • GO TO BED BY 10:00 PM. Gotta get up at about 5:15 to be ready for race tomorrow morning. SO NERVOUS!! Which might have triggered last night’s ridiculosity (not a word?). I’m just hoping that how tired I feel right now will help with actually getting to sleep at that hour tonight- earlier than I’ve gone to bed in months.

Okay, so about to execute first step of plan. Get. Up. From. Here…… Bye.

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Not tracking calories, but need to keep track

June 18, 2009 at 3:55 pm (Daily Workouts/Eats)

I haven’t been tracking my calories in sparkpeople for the last 2 or 3 weeks, but I’ve been eating much the same things as when I was tracking, so I kind of thought that was almost as good. But now I’m bouncing between 194 and 195 and having trouble getting below 194, so I’m wondering if I need to be a little more vigilant for a while. I haven’t decided to track calories yet, but I’m going to try and list what I eat each day as a start. I don’t want to become lax on portions and numbers of snacks just because I think I’m ‘eyeballing’ it correctly.

Today:

Oatmeal w/ berries, cottage cheese
Rotisserie chicken, half a sweet potato w/ some residual butter on it
Cup of steamed cauliflower
Milk Chocolate, extra creamy w/ toffee & almonds – 1 nugget
Whoppers – 3 small
Golden Delicious apple

Will edit later with the rest of the list for today. At the office, leaving momentarily.

EDITED TO ADD:
I am ashamed to admit that last night ended in a binge. But I will admit it, because its the truth. List starting with when I left work (if I can remember everything)

hard boiled egg
Dinner: chicken w/ cream of chicken soup sauce, black beans, big pile of lettuce/spinach, green beans
fat free chocolate pudding
ice cream sandwich (Sammie)
2 pieces of sheepherders bread w/ butter
about 6 butterscotch chips
bowl of fat free, plain yogurt w/ stevia & about 3 TB of hot chocolate powder
Another of the same
bowl of raspberries w/ sugar
3 pieces of ww toast w/ butter
ice cream sandwich

OH. MY. GOSH.

And then I stopped. Basically because my only options were repeating what I’d already eaten. I dipped into every available area of the kitchen looking for more stuff to eat, but I didn’t want to repeat so I ran out of food basically.

And then, because a good binge is never followed up by REASONABLE behavior,¬†I stayed up until 1:00 AM. You know, just to make sure I not only felt sick, but was also exhausted. Its self punishment at its finest, though I don’t know what I’m punishing myself for.

So, it is a new day. I am not happy with myself for last night, but I’m moving on. I’m not going to let it turn into days and days of not trying. Starting a new post now.

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