June 8, 2010 at 5:56 pm (General Life Updates)

Today, K got a call from a colleague from his old job here, basically offering him a way to possibly come back. They want him to; he’s the only way they’re going to keep one of his old accounts – an account that someone else has apparently totally screwed up.

Now my life is once again one big question mark. After multiple phone fights, one serious non-fighting discussion, I have no idea what he’s going to decide or what is going to come of this. Our two week deadline for moving out to Utah could turn into the 2 week deadline for K giving notice at his Utah job and coming back here.

I’m going to feel like such a moron if we aren’t moving. I’m trying not to let that matter – its our life, not other people’s. What they think shouldn’t weigh in our decision.

We’ll still sell the house. But we could live here until it went and be together.

I really love it here.

But I was looking forward to a new start. A change. A challenge.

I have it figured out to have the baby here. A clinic, a hospital, medicaid. I don’t think he’d start making a lot more money so quickly that I’d be disqualified for medicaid too soon.

But I could potentially be disqualified for medicaid eventually. Then we’d be back to no insurance for me or the kids (kids being more important). I was going to apply for them as soon as we got to Utah. Now I’ll have to apply for them here if we stay.

What was the point of all this upheaval if he’s just going to come back and start doing what he was doing before? The job that let him be with us in the afternoons but had him gone 7 nights a week with NEVER any days off and major stress to keep things covered if he was ever too sick to work? No vacations. No time off. No days off. WHAT WAS THE POINT?

He has assured me that HE WILL GET THE FINANCIAL SIDE FIGURED OUT. He won’t let us owe 5000 in taxes next year like the last two years. I have NO REASON to believe him. He has told me that for YEARS and never did it.

There are pros. There are cons. It all comes down to what he WANTS to do to make a living for our family. He has to do something. It doesn’t REALLY matter where, or what. Just that we have some family time, some couple time, and enough money for our needs and a couple wants here and there.

We are both so confused. He has a phone call to make that will make or break the decision for him. Once that is done, if the answer is no the decision is made – we’ll still go to Utah. If that answer is yes, then we have some serious thinking to do. HE has some serious thinking to do.


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