Weekend recap – nothing to see here

April 19, 2010 at 4:00 pm (General Life Updates)

Friday ended well after that last post. At 6 PM, we headed over a friend’s house where we had wonderful homemade pizza (their tradition every Friday night) and my kids played with her kids and we chatted while her husband went and cleaned his night-time cleaning account. Then, when he got back, we left the kids with him and went to Chili’s for some molten lava cake.

The cake was good, the pizza was wonderful, the company was great. I felt so blah that I was worried that conversation would stagnate or we wouldn’t have enough to talk about. But my worries were in vain and we had a great time together. It was quite honestly the highlight of my week. When we got back to the house, I collected my tired and happy children and they got to bed around 9:40. Didn’t stop K2 from getting up at 7 on Saturday, but whatever.

Saturday dawned dismal and dreary. We had pancakes for breakfast and oatmeal for lunch. We stayed in all day and didn’t do much of anything at all. The kids had a good time jumping from the couch to the back couch cushions on the floor, pretending that the cushions were beds and covering up and “sleeping”, and pretending the cushions were their horses and dragging each other around straddling them. I watched a couple of movies on TV, and as the evening came on we hopped in the car (so great to be in the garage! the kids were in their pjs and my awful get-up didn’t even matter) and we went to the drive thru for some fast food. I justified this somehow.

Sunday, we got ready (unlike pj Saturday) and went to church. I actually managed to listen to some of the talks in our main meeting and was inspired by some of the things that were said. Namely that what we do when our time is pressure-free, deadline-free is a big indicator of where we are in our progression. Where our thoughts go when there is nothing we HAVE to think about is a guage of how our discipleship of Christ is fairing. I felt inspired to come home and delete a bunch of my DVR timers – I’ve let myself become a slave to way too many shows over the past two years as K has been gone in the evenings and the TV and remote are basically all mine after the kids go to bed. It doesn’t seem healthy and it is something I’d like to improve. I also want to get to bed earlier each night – this is an ongoing battle with me. The sooner I go upstairs, the sooner I’m safe from the kitchen, yes??

After church, K2 took a short nap after some lunch while P and I hung out together and then we all headed over to my MIL’s and SIL’s for dinner. I had a lovely time chatting with Mom-in-law and Sister-in-law while the kids had a great time playing (SIL has one daughter a little younger than P). We had sloppy joes, oven crinkle fries, peas, and salad. It was all very tasty. But the best part was having folks to talk with. We left to come home around 7:40 and came home for a bedtime snack and bedtime ritual.

I did pretty well with my self-improvement after the kids went down. I watched one show, ate one thing (ice cream and probably too much, but that was it), checked some stuff online, and then went upstairs to get ready for bed and read my scriptures and then my book until I was sleepy. I didn’t get sleepy, but I turned the light off at about 10:35, but didn’t get to sleep until about 11 due to some texting with K after he’d gotten done with his birthday dinner over in Utah.

Today, I’ve been feeling ‘wo is me’ but in a practical sort of way. Can’t really describe it. Usually when I feel this way, I cry if someone asks me about it or if I really think about it. Today, I’m feeling very matter-of-fact and kinda pissed. This is my beef: it feels like for the last 4 years or so, I’ve been waiting for one big thing after another that is going to make our lives ‘better’. Usually financially. Waiting for K’s shop to open up. Waiting for him to give up and shut it down. Waiting for JP to start up. Waiting for the bankruptcy to be over. Waiting for a miscarriage or a baby to be born. Waiting for K’s JP business to be big enough that he feels like he can start paying quarterly taxes. Waiting to find out how much taxes we owe when filing and waiting to see what the payment plan is going to be like. Waiting. Waiting until I can quit my job and be a stay-at-home mom (which I know so many people don’t get to do, or don’t want to do, but its something I’ve always wanted and I’m lucky enough to be giving it a shot). And NOW waiting for the house to sell, possible short sale to be approved, and for us to be able to start over in Utah at a job that for all intents and purposes looks like its not going to be NEARLY enough to support us. When we thought it was going to be great.

WAITING. I know I should stop waiting, enjoy life as it is now, live it NOW, etc. But today, it feels like it is just one big waiting game and it NEVER ends, and it NEVER gets better. Whaaaah. I’m venting – hope no one is offended by my self-pity.

Today, I filled out short sale paperwork with our second mortgage company. I’ve sent it off to my realtor for him to look it over and fill in a couple of parts. I’ve called the discount, uninsured clinic that I was referred to by a friend to see what I need to bring with me to register and see how much my appointment would be (it is based on income). I’ve asked my realtor to fix our fliers (noticed today after two weeks that the house number on the flier is wrong), told him about our random broken shutter that is snapped in half that I swear was fine a couple days ago, asked him how this short sale thing works. He seems pretty sure we need to drastically reduce our asking price for the house, so I’m not sure exactly how long we’re going to wait to do that.

The kids and I went grocery shopping after lunch and before K2’s nap time. Got basically everything on my list plus a little for about 87, and also filled up the tank of the H3. And we are now officially broke until next pay day, in 2 weeks. So I hope the food and the gas lasts. WAITING.

Now, it is almost 4 and I should do something with my daughter. Ok, I’m off to do that. Then put some potatoes in for baking for dinner. Then we are going to have Family Home Evening tonight.


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