Big Fight – Quiet Day

April 6, 2010 at 2:37 pm (Daily Workouts/Eats, General Life Updates)

Yesterday I made a decision about a certain aspect of my relationship with my husband that affects him quite a bit. It actually has me considering shutting down my blog and reverting to an on-computer journal in Word or something so that I could write about it more in detail. For posterity or just for me own reflection in years to come. I don’t know yet. I only have a couple of followers (hi Lori, hi Kelli) that I know about, and I don’t think it would be any great loss to the blogging community if I stopped. So I’m thinking about it. I just don’t know if I would maintain this AND a computer journal. Realistically, I would only maintain one and the other would suffer. Often, there are times when I want to go into more detail about my personal life – perhaps spiritual and emotional stuff that I’m going through. But I don’t write it here because this is a public forum and some things are very private and sacred to me. And I worry that those things won’t be preserved – that this won’t be as honest of an account of my life because I’m being sensitive to the fact that if the world wanted to, it could read it all.

Anyway, just something I’m considering. What I will say is that when we finally got to talk last night, after a day of frustrating texting, it didn’t go well at first. He hung up on me, I cried hysterically. We talked some more, I was hurt, he was upset and confused. After much conversing, and much explaining, I think we are going to be able to figure out a way to make my decision work. Huge relief to me because I was beyond distraught.

Today things are looking better. I’m so glad I got this decision made and communicated to K. It has been weighing on me for literally weeks. I don’t think he fully understands, and I’m not sure will for a long time. But he loves me and he is a great man.

On with it.

Today, I have worked out, done the dishes and made the beds. I’m trying to work out while P is in school so that it is done and out of the way and I can’t talk myself out of it or have some other distraction prevent it from happening. I’m continuing to do BWO+ with 10 reps, like the beginning of Tempo Intermediate, and then walking on the treadmill for 15 minutes alternating inclines and speeds to try and get as good a burn as possible with my belly blocking my legs and my lungs a-huffing. It is sad really how much fitness I have lost in 6 months, but I know that the fact that I’m still working out at all is good for the baby and I. And remembering that I wasn’t working out at all with either P or K2 by this point in those pregnancies makes me feel like I’m making progress. Even if it isn’t miraculous.

Been eating a lot of salads lately. Today for lunch had one with lettuce, baby spinach, cauliflower, hard-boiled egg, chicken nuggets (the kind you buy at Sam’s in a big bag), carrots, avocado, and my sesame dressing from Japan (LOVING that stuff – hope I can find it at the Asian market when I run out). I just had a clementine for a snack a couple hours later, and I’m trying to up my water intake. My swelling from the trip back from Japan is completely gone, and I’d like to hold off the swelling portion of my pregnancy as long as possible. I’m pretty sure by this point with K2 I couldn’t even wear shoes anymore.

After lunch, I loaded the kids in the stroller and we tried a trip to the park. Um, yeah. Fail. We went. We played for about 10 minutes. But wow, the wind is vicious today and the sun is deceiving. It is cold out there! K2 got a booger-face from the wind and cold and his teeth were chattering even though he said he didn’t want to go home. P had a heavier jacket on and wasn’t quite so bad off. I felt so bad for not bundling K2 up enough, I took my sweater off and put it over them in the stroller for the walk home, even though I was doggone chilly myself.

Anyway, I tried. I hope I have it in me to try again in a couple days when it is supposed to be warmer again. I’m glad we got the little bit of outdoor time in, and I’m glad I got the quick walk pushing the double stroller. Good for me, despite still having cold fingers an hour and a half later.

This afternoon will probably be low-key. I’m going to start one of my books, P is watching Cars. I will read to her our library books when she’s done watching. It is bath night, and I think I’m going to make ground turkey spaghetti for dinner, which I might have to run to King Soopers to get tomato sauce for. I was going to use our diced tomatoes for sauce, which is why I didn’t buy any. But since the blender broke, I have no way to blend up the diced tomatoes. I plan on freezing the leftovers, since I know there’s no way the kids and I will use it all by the time it goes bad. Maybe in a couple portions in the freezer so that I don’t have to thaw it all at once. I’m going to have mine on zucchini noodles.

Connected with someone in the car line at P’s school that I knew back when I was single. I’ve seen her in the car line and once I remembered her name I have been trying to figure out how to say hi when neither of us gets out of our cars. Today, I was right behind her way in the back of the carline, so I figured I had a couple minutes to hop out and knock on her window and say hi. I had to tell her my name before she remembered me, but as soon as I said it she started whooping like I was a long-lost friend. So that was kind of fun. We’ve already friended each other on FB. 🙂

That’s it for today.

Oh, K comes into town via the Denver airport Friday afternoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is going to be a surprise for the kids, and was supposed to be a surprise for me. But he needs me to pick him up and I wasn’t cooperating with his fake-out of picking up his sister. SO EXCITED TO HAVE MY HUSBAND BACK, even if just for 2 days.

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4 Comments

  1. Lori said,

    Just so you know….

    1) You can totally use just canned tomatoes for pasta sauce. They will cook up as it simmers and break down and you’ll have a nice, chunky sauce. If it doesn’t break down as much as you want you can use a potato masher, the back of a wooden spoon…. It’s the only way I’ve ever made pasta sauce…

    2) Would understand if you dropping the public blogging, but would miss you.

    3) Glad you got out for a walk at least. There’s a cheap hobby for ya!

    4) Glad your DH is flying in!

  2. farebear said,

    Hey Lori! Thanks for the input.

    I might try your suggestion about the tomato sauce, and I considered it. Usually, I can’t stomach any chunks of tomatoes, because I just don’t like them. And tomato sauce is at least smooth, even though it still tastes of…. tomatoes. 🙂 Anyway, when my DH makes it, he flavors and seasons it so masterfully that I don’t mind as much the chunks (though I still pick the bigger ones out). When I make it, I find that since it isn’t seasoned quite as well, I just can’t handle the chunks. Anyway, I might try the mashing techniques you mentioned next time.

    Have a great week!

  3. Lori said,

    Aww, didn’t realize you didn’t like tomatoes. My DH used to be that way, now he’s down to only disliking raw ones. He will now, on occasion, try a bite if it’s got a yummy dressing on it. So keep trying them, there may be hope for you, too!!! LOL!

  4. Kelli said,

    I will most certainly miss you if you quit public blogging….but I also understand. Sometimes you need to write and never worry about who might read it.

    Have you considered a password protected blog?

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