So sad. Bad decisions. What’s my problem? No answers here.

October 22, 2009 at 8:23 am (Daily Workouts/Eats, General Life Updates)

Last night I was dressed for a workout an hour before the kids went to bed, sports bra, running shoes and all. I put the treadmill down while the kids were still up, opened it up and vacuumed it out. I showed K2 how to use it – which was pretty hilarious.

Then, I put the kids to bed. …….. And didn’t work out. Put the treadmill away without using it. Didn’t touch my resistant tubes, dumbbells, mini-bands. Sat on my hiney all evening and well into the night watching TV. And eating.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?

I was up until after midnight. I didn’t read scriptures. I could have eaten more, but I definitely ate plenty.

Today a week ago was my last workout. I know that the first workout back is usually the hardest. I’m trying to get there. I feel so burnt out! Why? Its not like I’ve been making monumental effort for weeks on end? I’ve been plateaued for months because I HAVEN’T been making a monumental effort.

I’m settling. I’m floundering. I’m so tired, but I don’t make myself go to bed at a reasonable hour. I’ve eaten way too much EVERY night that I’ve not worked out. Recipe for disaster. I didn’t even bother weighing myself today because I would assume I’m back up over 190 by now. I even, get this, watched Biggest Loser while eating and sitting last night. Ugh.

I’m writing this down because these are the thoughts in my head. Even with all this said, I can’t guarantee that today will be better. I just don’t feel motivated at all right now. I’m not going to make any bold statements about what I’m going to do today and tomorrow, etc. Because I’m not feeling it.

When I went on this diet back in March, it was because I’d finally decided that I was NEVER going to “feel” it. I wasn’t going to have a “click” when all the motivation, knowledge, etc., fell into place and made me want to start being healthier. So I just did it anyway. So what’s my problem now?

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