Decision and Small Victories

September 22, 2009 at 9:24 am (Daily Workouts/Eats, General Life Updates)

After going to the office yesterday and basically sneaking out an hour earlier without saying goodbye to anyone, I was feeling pretty crappy. I hadn’t had a lot to do at the office, and I didn’t feel like going around and asking everyone what work they had for me, so I just left. But not before I had quite a few chocolates. Its a good thing I left at 3 instead of 4, or who knows how many more I would have consumed.

I came home and there were pink wafer cookies sitting on the kitchen counter. Before the night was over I’d had a total of 4. We had a healthy dinner that K made, but I was feeling so discouraged. I’d eaten a lot of healthy, good food throughout the day, but I’d also had too many treats. I convinced myself probably about 20 times that it was no use, I should just sit on my butt and eat some more before I went to bed. And about 20 times, I told myself I had to work out. I hadn’t worked out since Thursday other than a bike ride with the kids, and I needed the exercise. I knew it would make me feel better, but its so hard to remember that before the sweat and endorphins are flowing. But, as the kids were getting ready for bed, I came downstairs with my weights (they’ve been upstairs since last week), and set up the treadmill. Then I went back upstairs and got dressed for working out while the kids watched their bed-time Blues Clues.

And I did it. I worked out. Despite all the negative self-talk I had going on, all the “I can’t do it’s” and “its no use’s” running through my head faster than any of my treadmill workouts. And it felt great, and afterwards, as predicted, I felt so much better. I drank a lot of water. I didn’t even think about eating anything.

187 this morning.

I also spoke with K about the baby-making question, and my concerns have been laid to rest by the decision we’d already made. We are still going to start trying next month. I can’t put off our family any longer, and these habits are just going to have to stick through pregnancy so I can pick up with losing weight after the baby comes (that is, assuming a baby comes).

So, I’m feeling better today. I had a kids yogurt w/ berries and 2 zuchinni/oat bran muffins w/ drizzled honey for breakfast. Since I don’t know the calorie or fiber content of the muffins I don’t know how long this breakfast will hold me, but it was satisfying and yummy and different.

Today, I’m going to do laundry, dishes, maybe clean some toilets, and try making hummus.

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