Another Day – there will be one

August 14, 2009 at 3:55 pm (Daily Workouts/Eats, General Life Updates)

But I really shouldn’t wait until tomorrow morning to stop the madness. From my posting Tuesday night until now things haven’t gone to poorly. Wednesday was a super busy day with grocery shopping galore and unloading and making dinner. A pretty darn good one. I ate well and only what I had planned.

Then, Thursday I did pretty well. Friday (today) not so much. I didn’t have a regular breakfast, I didn’t make a to-do list and menu last night for today. And I got snacky. One of my major weaknesses. Usually on a day when I don’t feel like doing anything, when I’m usually already tired and my defenses are down, and when I’m trying not to think about something or worrying about something. All of which are happening today.

It is 3:48. I’m not exactly sure how much I’ve already eaten today, though I could probably horrify myself by going back and cataloging it all (or most of it that I can remember). But I’m not going to. I just had to big bowl of NF plain yogurt & granola. And I’m full. And I need to stop. I just finished a really good book, but it is the first in a series and I’m aching to start the next book. Which I’ll probably have to buy since I can’t seem to find these in a library. And I have a baby shower to go to, with the kids, in 3 hours. K2 is sleeping, for now. And P is in the front yard playing with her across-the-street friend that she hasn’t played with in a while. I need to get ready for the shower at some point – I look pretty scrubby. And I need to platter up my dip and crackers as well.

I’m not going to make a dinner. I imagine I’ll still be full and there will be plenty of food at the shower. There is also plenty of food in the house to give the kids something without making anything for myself. K is sleeping and has been since about 12:30 after his job interview this morning (part of the reason I didn’t get a regular breakfast, but not really his fault).

I didn’t work out last night – had a killer headache. I decided not to work out through the pain, though I read a blog post today that encouraged working out as a help-cure for headaches. I’ll walk for 30 minutes on Sunday to cover myself for the competition, but I don’t feel bad about working out. I do feel bad about staying up so late and eating a little too much, though I’m not classifying it as a binge.

Tonight I intend to run while watching Obsessed, a movie that K got for our Netflix trial. I hope I’ll follow through. Right now, I’m not feeling the urge at all.

This feels like self-sabotage, but I’m trying not to make it bigger in my head than it needs to be. I just need to plan better tonight for tomorrow, and start afresh right now.

Still at 191.5, though that might not be the case in the morning. I need to imagine how good it will feel to get into even more of my previously-too-tight clothes. How it will feel to step on the scale and see 189, 185, 179, etc. And how it will feel to welcome a pregnancy knowing that I can make healthy choices throughout to not ever go back to 230.


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