Recording – and the life-changing affects of Epiphanes don’t last forever

February 12, 2009 at 10:31 am (Uncategorized)

I had this moment of clarity a few days ago when I realized that I was never going to have some huge wake-up moment that caused me to give up all “bad” foods forever and get me to exercise like a maniac 7 days a week. There wasn’t going to be that picture of myself that I saw and said – this is it. I’ve got to change. Hopefully, there was never going to be a snide comment that jolted me to perfect diet-dom. My habits were only going to get more ingrained, my laziness affect my health more and more, and I was going to get bigger, not smaller. And I was never going to be ready to have more children because of my higher weight.

So, that moment of clarity was, of a sort, a wake up call. But moments like that only affect behavior (unless I’m the exception and not the norm) for a little while. That feeling that you have in that moment lasts a few hours, a few days. If you’re (I’m) lucky, maybe it lasts a few weeks. But then it fades. I either forget about it or the feeling is gone, and even recalling the moment can’t help me regain the feeling that came with it and the motivation that was the result.

So, I’m going to have to remember that I won’t remember. And do what I’ve decided to do anyway. In a while, no telling exactly when, the novelty of my cute little notebook from the dollar store and recording my food in it is going to wear off. And I’m going to need to continue to record anyway.

Right now, the plan is to record everything, aim for 3 healthy meals and a couple snacks IF HUNGRY. One snack for mid-afternoon, and one snack for after the kids go to bed. For example, last night I had a string cheese, about 4 almonds, and a kiwi. I wanted to eat more, though, since the epiphane motivation is already starting to fade. Exercise will happen in the afternoon if the schedule permits, if not, exercise will continue to happen at night after kids go down. Either way, aiming for 4-5 workouts a week. My hope is that just the curbing of the grazing in the afternoon and the binging at night will start me on some weight loss with the workouts. I assume that this approach will only work to a certain set-point where my diet will have to become more regimented and potentially more restricted. Baby steps.

This will be my third day of recording my food. I’ve decided that for now I’ll record it just for my use. And if that ceases to work or ceases to have a curbing affect on my intake, I’ll ask someone to look at it. But I also decided that just writing it down and turning the page at the end of the day and not looking back won’t do much good. If I don’t look back at what I did I won’t be able to evaluate what is working and what isn’t. I also won’t be able to see where I can improve or note the days that I ate too much and remember why. So I think on Sunday afternoons I’ll look over the week preceding to see what I ate and try and figure out easy or best places to cut back in future. Things I can live without, I guess.

A is here today. I think I’m going to the office this afternoon, though I’m having a hard time deciding for sure. But I only worked 3 hours on Tuesday, so if I go in today for 3-4 hours, that will sure help the floor-fund, especially since I’m spending tomorrow’s check on myself.


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