February 3, 2009 at 7:19 pm (Uncategorized)

I had a post half-written and I lost it due to unexpected occurrences.

A couple came by this afternoon and decided they want Fish. They loved his face and his submissive nature (though that won’t be quite so prominent when he’s not nervous). But they can’t take him for 2 and a half weeks. So I have to hold on to him for a little while longer – they were nice and though I could maybe find him a home sooner than that (have 2 other interested parties), I can handle 2 weeks if I know he’s going to be loved and taken care of. So hopefully everything will go as planned and they’ll come take him off my hands about the beginning of March. I asked them to let me know as soon as possible if they change their minds so I can start trying to find him a family again. He really is a great dog and will make someone a great companion – I just don’t want him here any longer. Carpet-eater.

Did 35 minutes of the 50-minute T-Tapp workout today. That was all I could manage, and I’m going to be sore. Then, P and I took Cloud for a walk/jog to the park so I got some movement there. I had breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I will probably have a couple snacks later, I’m not going to lie.

The plan is to start working out in the afternoon after K2 goes down for his nap. If I can’t do that on any given day (like Thurs – going to the office), then I will continue on with my after-kids-go-to-bed schedule. But I am aiming for 4 deliberate workouts per week, with at least 3 walks for Cloud mixed in. Even if I can only take her out for 10-15 minutes, she needs to be walked/run to regain her muscle tone now that she’s eating a little better.

Eating is another issue – all the working out in the world is not going to make a difference if I don’t lessen and better my eating habits. And habits they are. So I’ve decided that for now, to try and break my night-time binging habit, I will have one-1-uno-um snack after the kids go to bed unless I’m actually stomach-growling hungry. That one snack can be anything, but only ONE of that anything. Like 1 granola bar, or 1 bowl of yogurt, etc. During the day, breakfast, lunch, dinner – and if I need a small snack between lunch and dinner that is fine, too. For now, I’m just going to structure my eating in this fashion. Small steps. Once I’m mastered this, then I’ll start worrying about the actual content of these meals and snacks.

This is all I can think to do at this point – it is all I feel I can handle. Any time I think of doing some grand plan – counting, limiting, depriving – I just want to run out and buy everything I love and eat it all at once as if I’ll never get it again. Speaking of that – I want to make a sign for the fridge that reminds me that….. It Will Still Be There Tomorrow. This is not the last moment/night/day for food to exist. Hello!!

I’ve also been thinking about what it means to “take care of yourself”. When I think of this, I think of getting dressed presentably (not fancily) every day, putting on lotion when I get out of the shower, exercising, eating right, taking time to recharge my battery so-to-speak. All of these things. But I don’t know which of these things it actually means. What do you think it means to “take care of yourself?” And if you don’t do those things do you feel guilty? Does it mean you have less to give to those you love? Because I really don’t know if giving more to myself means I’ll have more to give to my family, though I know it stands true to a certain point. In a society that is getting more and more selfish every day, I don’t buy into the adage of taking care of yourself *first*. Though I know you have to to a certain extent. Anyway, this is just something I’ve been pondering.


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