How do I get rid of the “all or nothing”?

November 12, 2008 at 2:53 pm (Daily Workouts/Eats)

Yesterday I did it all. All that I had planned to do. Except one thing. And today I feel like a failure.

Monday night, I made generalized daily schedules, menus, diet plans.  I had a plan for each day, how it would lay out (unless something unusual comes up), one schedule for school days and one for non-school days. I had 2 weeks of menus planned out for dinners. I had my fasts and all-natural days planned out through the first week of December.

According to my plan, I will pre-pick certain housekeeping items from the house-wide list that I made to do the next day during the scheduled time frame. I did everything I had planned to do yesterday, including some organizing of both the kids’ rooms, some changes in the living room, dusting, and some storage organization on the stairwell ledge. I went to get my hair done during the time allotted to make dinner, so I asked K to make dinner. I got back a little later than expected, just in time for him to leave for work. I ate dinner, did the dishes, gave the kids baths. Put laundry away. During all of that, though, I managed to sprain my ankle. So instead of the short workout and the START OF A FAST that I had planned for after dinner, I didn’t work out, and I didn’t fast. After eating only 3 meals throughout the day without any snacks, I had a minor binge. Let me see if I can remember what it consisted of. Marshmallows, 3 fruit snacks, a granola bar, a honey sandwich, a plate of white cheddar cheezits with cheddar melted on top. A big glass of Nesquick milk. I think that’s where it ended, but good grief.

And then I forgot to pick out my tasks for today. So I’ve gotten nothing done today. I took the kids to playgroup, which I haven’t gone to in a few months. Since we all got up so late, that was really the first thing we had a chance to do after breakfast. I did unload the dishwasher before we left. But I didn’t start a load of laundry and now K has bogarted the washer for some of his work clothes, which he’ll wash, dry and then take out just what he wants to wear instead of putting it all away.

It is 1:46. According to the schedule I should be spending some time with P to teach her and play with her. I should be accomplishing my pre-set housekeeping tasks, and then I should be making dinner starting at 3:30.

I’m trying to mentally take it easy on myself. I can’t be perfect from the get-go. The playgroup was not on the schedule. I can still change clothes and get some cleaning done. My ankle is feeling a lot better so I might be able to work out tonight, a short one. And I need to remember the mental decision and commitment it takes in order to fast after dinner. I obviously wasn’t ready.

So, trying not to feel like a failure. Not really succeeding. Going to go change clothes and clean some stuff while P plays with her play-dough ice cream sundae maker. I’ve refused to let her watch TV today so far, and I’m determined to continue to do so. A day with no cartoons. Let’s see if she survives. If I survive.

226.5 this morning.

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