Off Routine – off Plan

August 24, 2008 at 10:08 am (Daily Workouts/Eats)

That seems to be my MO. All that big talk over the last couple of days of getting back on plan and staying there for 19.5 weeks. Well, today is officially 12 weeks. Yippee.

Up to 227.5 today, which is actually better than it could be. Friday night, we went out to eat with my family to Chili’s up in Monument. I decided to order the Southwest Egg Rolls (an appetizer), but then I thought in the moment that getting an appetizer meant I could have a salad, too, and if I’m going to have a salad why not have the soup and salad and get a bowl of tortilla soup. So I had the bowl, and I had the side salad, and I had the egg rolls. I don’t think it was too bad of a meal – if I hadn’t let it set me up. See, we were out to eat. Out to eat is a treat. Treat means there needs to be dessert.

Without giving you a play-by-play (I’m trying to stick to the point instead of doing that), suffice it to say that later that night I had a bowl of vanilla yogurt with chocolate powder. When we bought the yogurt I knew I was going to leave the rest of it at my mom’s house so that I wouldn’t have it in mine, but then I saw a display – as we were walking away from the food section – of Fiber One granola bars. My guard was down by then, and I grabbed a box. But I didn’t commit in my head to taking one out of the box and leaving the box at my mom’s. She was buying after all. So I took the full box home. Remember, granola bars = trigger food? Yup. When I got home and the kids were a-bed, I opened the box. And had one. Had two. Turned the TV off and went upstairs to stop myself there.

So, Saturday. I worked basically all morning and early afternoon, which led to some not-so-good food choices, but it could have been worse. Oatmeal, raspberries, mandarin orange, huge piece of homemade wheat bread. Two more granola bars. Found out we were going to K’s family’s house (if I could get my work done – go Cinderella) for a late bbq lunch before we went to the zoo last night for my SIL’s work’s night there. We got over there at about 3:30 and I had a juicy hamburger, pasta salad, chips, potato salad. Not a lot of anything, but I should have just stayed away from it all since I didn’t really want it. But I get so sidetracked getting the kids all fed, making sure we figure out what to cut up and feed K2, the loudness – I eat on auto-pilot. Had grape soda – wasn’t even good. Then, they busted out the cupcake-cake for my MIL’s birthday. And I had two cupcakes!! Okay 1 and a half. I don’t even LIKE cupcakes!! But it took me to the middle of the second one to remember that and throw out the last half.

Then we went to the zoo. They had a spread there for the my SIL’s fellow-employees but most of us weren’t interested since we’d just eaten. It was about 6:40 by this time. My SIL and BIL went and got the little cups of ice cream for the kids – chocolate. I was lucid enough by this time to know I didn’t want that ice cream, but I saw platters of cookies at the ends of the sandwhich tables. Ended up eating a couple of chocolate chip cookies and one sugar cookie. They were the small, generic, almost hard, store-bought kind. The zoo was fun; walking the Cheyenne Mtn Zoo, with or without pushing a big double-stroller, is good exercise since it is on the side of a mountain. When we came back down we passed the cookie table and I went in again. By this time it was about 8. I vaguely remembered it was Saturday and I should be fasting by now. But I couldn’t wrap my head around how I was supposed to do it since we’d had dinner so early. The cookies that were left weren’t good, but that didn’t stop me from having a big bite of two of them before letting my taste-buds actually do the talking and stop me.

The real travesty occured when we got home. I put the kids to bed, K left for work, and I had more work to do. It ended up being about almost two hours of work. During that time I had a few raspberries (what was left of the container was sitting next to my laptop), the last granola bar, and a full-size Laffy Taffy. I got done working a little after 10:30. And, oh my gosh, what possessed me to not just go upstairs??? But I sat and watched TV and talked myself into not one small plate, but TWO, of bite-size corn dog bites heated up in the microwave! Argh!

I went to bed full, and disappointed in myself.

In retrospect, I should have started my fast after my late-afternoon meal and just ended my fast earlier today! I shouldn’t have had any food while I was working late last night, and I should have gone right upstairs after I was done, even if I was going to stay up and watch TV up there.

Moral of the story (the play-by-play could have been worse, believe me) = weekends are a hotbed of unpredictability. They are not always going to be safe in my home and go the same every weekend. I need to keep my head about me, especially on Saturdays when my fast should be starting. I need to consciously THINK about what I’m eating and WHY, and break the habit of eating stuff just because its there. If the only sugary items available are sugary items that *gasp* I DON’T LIKE, I don’t have to eat them just because I think I need/want some sugar!! Be a little more discerning, self, for crying out loud!

I said I wasn’t going to let my little failures derail me – that DAYS off plan wouldn’t turn into WEEKS off plan. So now I need to put my money where my mouth is. Friday night to Saturday night I struggled. So it ends now, and I’ll prepare myself all week to not get caught so mentally unguarded next weekend.

I’m fasting now. I’m inclined to stay home from church today; I don’t have to teach and K2 is runny-nosed and breathing like he’s got a phlegm problem. If I stay home, I’ll need to guard myself against gravitating to the kitchen. I’m pretty sure we’re going to have pancakes and eggs for dinner, and I’m going to go light on the pancakes and heavy on the eggs. Maybe I’ll add some steamed brocolli to the mix. And tomorrow is an AN day. Back on the plan for evenings with going upstairs after workout in order to stay out of kitchen. Really with the granola bars gone, the only thing that strikes any danger is the corn dog bites.

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