July 30, 2008 at 12:46 pm (Daily Workouts/Eats)

I’m just so tired. For more than one reason. I’m tired because I stayed up until almost 2:30 to finish that book. But now I’m out of reading material, and safe for the time-being. But getting hardly any sleep really doesn’t do a lot for my dietary will power. I’m tired because today is K’s payday, his once monthly check that looks so huge when we get it and then is gone in a matter of hours. Trying to decide what to pay, what not to pay, how we’re going to live (gas, food, etc) since it is going to be sucked up by bills in moments. I’m tired of constantly being in a state of financial crisis. So tired. The bankruptcy should be being filed within days, but I just don’t know if I’m capable of getting it done. I’m just so tired.

I have a headache today. Isn’t being helped by the no sleep, financial crisis, no eating thing.

Have no idea what I weighed this morning. Considering I haven’t really tried since last Thursday, its probably not good.

Things will look better in the morning after some good sleep tonight. But right now, my world is pretty dim. I thought I was going to have enough money to take my daughter to get a haircut, and that is looking unlikely. I got an inheritance from my grandparents who passed away this year, and I’m fighting the urge to spend it all on bills just to get us caught up. I want so badly to spend it on getting our new carpet installed, getting some supplies for the backyard to fix up the awfulness back there, to get me some new shoes. But that all feels irresponsible when we aren’t going to have enough money to buy groceries if I pay everything I’m supposed to pay. Or gas. Let alone haircuts.

Sorry, this really isn’t about fitness today. But this is what I’m dealing with today, not the fact that I’m fat.


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