Discouraged this Friday

June 13, 2008 at 10:58 am (Daily Workouts/Eats)

That number I was super-excited about yesterday? Yeah, gone. Yesterday was a great example of life getting in the way of my plan, and I’m sure it will happen many more times. However, I didn’t handle it as well as I should have. I almost named this post “Confessions of a Cheater”, but I’m trying hard to re-train myself to not think of slip-ups that way – thinking that way (cheating, good, bad, etc.) is what leads to the all-or-nothing mentality that in the past has had me stopping all efforts when something goes less-than-perfect.

Yesterday was not cheating. It was a learning experience. Right? So let me lay it out.

Morning was normal w/ oatmeal. Got ready, went to work. Ate the lunch I brought with me – spring mix lettuce, leftover chicken, hb egg, little ranch. Some carrots and an almond/craisin mix I’d made throughout the afternoon. I decided that if I took the stairs up to the fifth floor instead of the elevator, I could go get something out of the chocolate jar, which ended up being 2 bite-size Snickers. I wasn’t worried about that too much, although I was going to write about it.

Left work a little before 5 to go home and get K and the kids since he’d texted me that his mom was on her way here from UT, had almost arrived, and that dinner was over at his sister’s house at 5:30. Right then, I knew my AN day was gone, but I just figured I’d eat it in moderation. Well, dinner didn’t happen until 6:30, and my hunger got the best of me when faced with the M&M jar that I’ve mentioned before. Over the course of the evening I had probably about 25-30 M&Ms. Dinner was spaghetti, which I only had one serving of, but still pasta isn’t AN. The salad was AN, and I had some of that. But the bread certainly wasn’t, with butter and sprinkled parmesan cheese. That was my worst offense I think, the 5 pieces of bread I had.

Then we came home, and about an hour later the headache that had been building all afternoon and evening, along with being upset with myself for the bread and M&Ms, overwhelmed me and I had a bowl of vanilla yogurt with hot chocolate powder. But only one bowl, and I shared it with P.

There you have it. An AN day gone down the tubes. And I’m back up to 230.5 this morning. BUT – this is no great tragedy. That is still a 5-7 pound loss in the last not-quite-2 weeks. Yesterday was still a pretty good day nutritionally. No binges or huge splurges. Just a couple small mishaps that I’m trying to write off in my head as an enjoyable evening that isn’t going to hurt anything in the long run. I tried to convince myself to do a short workout last night, but my head just hurt too bad. Perhaps the exercise would have helped my head, but I just watched So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD), took 2 Ibuprofen, and went to bed.

Today has been AN so far, with oatmeal concoction for brekkie. The headache came back about 30 minutes ago, and I’ve already taken some Ibuprofen. But I’m extremely unmotivated to try and work. I have the requisite hours and could use more to pad my check as much as possible, but I just want to check out, so to speak. I’m seriously considering quitting at the end of July, and wrestling with that decision has got me all distracted and out-of-sorts.

I’m going to keep today as close to the AN line as I can without feeling like I’m punishing myself. I will do a T-Tapp TWO sometime today or tonight. Tomorrow is Saturday and I’m hoping to get the house a little cleaner and some more yard-work done. But I also want to get P together with her little cousin Z that she hasn’t seen in a couple weeks. Z is my sister’s little girl, and they will be moving this fall so I want to give them as much together time as possible. 


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