My History/My Plan Part 1

May 23, 2008 at 7:47 pm (Plan)

So I had this idea that writing my success story before it happened would be a positive mental exercise. And then I had this other idea that my current test-drive of the T-Tapp total workout should be documented in a blog. If anyone by some random chance ends up reading about it, it can keep me accountable. It will also free up a lot of space in my journal if I’m writing about my weight loss endeavors somewhere else. ūüôā

So, my first entry is going to be a short success story, like the hundreds of success stories I’ve read about on T-Tapp.com, magazines, on TV, on other people’s blogs. Never thinking that I’d ever manage to have a success story of my own because I’ve failed at this so many times.

“My name is Farah. I’m 32 years old, a wife, a mother to 2 wonderful children (referred to herein as P and K2). P is almost 4 – a wonderful little girl with lots of attitude and energy. K is almost 8 months old – learning new things every day and giving away lots of smiles. My husband, K, owns a commercial cleaning franchise that he works at at night. We’ve had a lot of stress in our almost 5 years of marriage, and I think that has contributed largely to my weight problem, although it is by no means the only factor. I’ve struggled with my weight since I was a teenager. I hit puberty at the same time that I decided to become a book-reading hermit, and the weight packed on. But looking back, I know I wasn’t as big as I thought I was. I think my heaviest was about 180. Then, my senior year¬† in high school I got braces. And got totally paranoid that if I didn’t brush and floss every time I ate that my teeth would have holes in them when I got the braces removed. That cut down on snacking a great deal, because who wants to brush floss a gazillion times a day? I started to lose weight. About the same time, I was in a weight-lifting class that took the place of my PE credit for senior year. I enjoyed lifting and adding that to my life made me lose more weight. I don’t remember how much I lost or how fast, but I remember I started to feel a lot more comfortable in my own skin. Soon after high school, I went off to college. While there, amidst the other many experiences I had, I stayed very active. I lived in St. George, UT and went to Dixie College. It is desert there, and pretty warm year-round. I roller-bladed, ran, rode my bike a lot, swam, lifted weights, etc. I continued¬†to eat a lot – I don’t remember ever really going on a diet while there. When I moved home after graduating, I was getting ready to go on a mission for my church¬† (I’m LDS), and I went on phen-fen for a couple months, dropping quite a few pounds. Then I stopped taking it; soon after that it was banned. Then, I went on a mission for my church to Brazil for 18 months. While there, I ate a lot (I LOVED the food there), but walked miles every day all day, mostly in the sun, sometimes in the rain. But almost always sweating. ūüôā I definitely didn’t gain any muscle, and I did get bigger. But I didn’t come back to the states too huge, at least in my memory. I had some fitness to regain, but it wasn’t insurmountable.¬†I started dating someone and together, we packed on some pounds. When I left home to go back to college and get my bachelors at BYU, I was again at my heaviest, although I don’t remember how heavy.

Soon after I got to school, I started exercising regularly again and trying to watch what I ate.¬†Then I went on Herbalife for a while – 2 shakes a day, a lot of supplements, and one regular meal. I lost weight pretty rapidly,¬†at least 30 pounds. And I stayed right about there, getting more and more fit but not losing a lot more weight. Which was fine with¬† me. I came home after graduating and kept working out obsessively, 7 days a¬†week, right up until I started dating the man that became my husband.¬†I worked out¬†pretty consistently the whole time we were dating, but soon after we got married I quit¬† my gym to try and save us some money¬†– thinking I’d work out at the apartment¬†complex gym. Which turned out to be pretty unsavory. Also, 2 months after we got married I¬†discovered I was pregnant. And that is when my descent into obesity began in earnest.¬†

I was so tired,¬†nauseous, and surprised to be pregnant so fast (I¬† know, biology works like that). I stopped working out, though gradually, and I ate, a LOT. I gained 80 pounds with that pregnancy. Yikes, I know. I topped out at just under 240 lbs right before I had my daughter, P. She was a beautiful 7 lbs, 2 oz. I nursed her for about 8 months, all the while trying to diet and exercise the weight off. I lost quite a bit of the weight I had gained and as soon as I stopped nursing her I tried Herbalife again. Along with inconsistent tries to do Body for Life (BFL), I got down to 175 lbs and in okay physical condition. Then, I got impatient. Frustrated. Lazy. Also, life started to get really messy. My husband opened up a auto-mechanic shop that over the year of mid-2006 to mid-2007 put us into so much debt we’re now filing for bankruptcy. That process produced a lot of stress. Amid all of that, I got pregnant again and then had a miscarriage, which my body didn’t handle on its own so I had to have a D&C. That was on September 7, 2006. At the beginning of 2007, I made an effort to overcome the financial stress and the affect it was having on my health/fitness, and I joined Weight Watchers. I joined with my mom, and my sister started to count points on her own. 2 1/2 weeks after I joined (and lost 6 pounds), I found out I was pregnant again. While excited about bringing another child into our family, I was kind of bummed that now I was going to get big and awkward again, right when I was finding a groove for losing weight. When I got pregnant, I was fluctuating between 215 and 220 pounds. I gained a little over 50 pounds with that pregnancy. I didn’t really ever get an exercise habit going during the pregnancy, though I tried a couple times, and I basically ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. In theory, I didn’t gain as much weight during that pregnancy, but since I started out over 50 pounds heavier, I still got to my highest weight ever. During the month after I gave birth, I lost 30 pounds effortlessly. The weight from the baby, all the fluid¬†I’d been retaining (I swell really bad when I’m pregnant), and a few pounds of muscle, probably. I then stalled at 240 pounds, and stayed there for a couple months, THINKING about all the things I could and would do to lose weight. Implementing plans IN MY HEAD almost daily.

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