Comfy in My Skin

I decided before I went to the office today that I wasn’t going to eat any of the extras - candy, chocolate, cookies, donuts. Reading over my blog last night and this morning helped me to remember that any excuse I can put forth is just that, an excuse. If I say I can’t leave it alone at the office, its really just a cop-out. And I’ve proven over the last year that I CAN leave it alone if I so choose.

So today I did. I ate my sandwich, my carrots, my almonds and craisins. I drank some water. I did have about 1/3 of a quesadilla that a coworker offered to me from her lunch. But I didn’t have any candy, I didn’t eat the cookies that were in the kitchen, and I didn’t go trolling for chocolate. And I will choose to do the same on Monday of next week. I can do this, even going to the office 3 afternoons a week.

K made tuna casserole, black beans, and corn for dinner. I had my casserole on a bed of lettuce.

I’m so glad tomorrow is Friday. Planning on going grocery shopping if all goes well. We’re out of almost everything around here.

This afternoon, we took the kids over to my SIL’s house and my husband and I went running together. Well, we didn’t really run together so much as he jogged ahead of me and then fell behind from walking, again and again until I finally left him in my dust. I’d love to say it was because I am so awesome and fast and full of endurance. But it was basically because his knee really started bothering him and it hurt too bad to run. He’s a delicate flower, and I’m worried about how he’ll be for the race. Poor guy. All skinny and in-shape looking, but all messed up inside. Just goes to show that even slender people can be unhealthy.

We ran almost 2.5 miles, and I only walked once for a short distance at the top of a hill. We ran two hills (well, I ran up one, down one and up most of the second, K didn’t take the second uphill but waited at the bottom for me) as experience for our 5K course next week that supposedly has some hills in it.

The kids had fun at my SILs and we enjoyed sitting and chatting while we cooled down from our run. On the way home, K’s ravenous appetite didn’t think it sounded like fun to go home and eat, so we ended up at Coal Mine Dragon for some chinese food. I had chicken and brocolli and rice, about 3 wontons, some egg drop soup. The kids didn’t eat a lot, though P loved her fried rice. I’ve had a couple pieces of chocolate since I got home and a few apple chips, so I’m still not hungry. I had planned on having a yogurt for a dinner-time snack since our dinner was at about 3:45. But I hope I don’t get hungry and just go to bed on the chinese food since I’m sure it was plenty of calories for the rest of my day.

The apple chips are fresh - made them today from a couple of honeycrisp apples that were going to spoil if I didn’t dry them. For some reason we just don’t eat apples around here very well – even though we all like them. K2 won’t eat them except in apple chip form, and I love to munch on apple chips when I have the munchies (instead of candy, endless yogurt, or worse). So I really do love to have some dehydrated apples on hand but haven’t made any in a few weeks. Anyway, the honeycrisp make AMAZING chips!!! I’ve only made the chips from Gala apples so far and the honeycrisp turn out so yummy and sweet they’re practically candy!! Excited to make some more. Also want to try some granny smith chips!

Friday:

A good day, I think. I honestly can’t remember much of anything from Friday except going to a birthday party in the evening for a little boy in our ward who was turning 4. P, K2, and I went and they kids had a good time. I spent half the time talking to other parents, and half the time feeling awkward. When we got home (the party was at 5), I needed to feed us something healthy since all that was offered at the party (right in the middle of dinner time) was some weird cheese burritos (had one, ok), chips, and cake. So I settled on the quickness of scrambled eggs w/ cheese and chopped-into-super-tiny-bits brocolli. We had toast with the eggs, and surprisingly enough despite the visible green in their eggs, they still ate them. And they were tasty. I was happy that I hadn’t decided to swing by a drive-thru.

Saturday:

Had a BLAST at the Ph1l L0ng Exp0 craft fair with my mom and dad. We were there longer than I’ve ever lasted before – in years past I was mostly interested in the food tasting stations and that was about it. I would stop at other stations, but know I wasn’t going to spend the money no matter how much I liked it. I don’t know if my attitude was different this year, or if it was just because I knew I could spend SOME money, but I was interested in so many things! We stopped at so many booths, Dad was getting impatient at some due to our indecision when choosing what to buy (or not buy). I ended up buying 2 things for the kids (a marker/air brush set that they can share and some play clay that is a HUGE step up from playdoh – it doesn’t dry out and it has some fun cookie cutters, roller pin, and mat), 1 thing for me (I finally found a piece of pretty dicroic glass that I could afford!! $9 for my pendant!! More exclamation marks!!! All the others I’ve found and been interested in for 3 years now were $22 and up.), Mom and I bought 7 headbands (she paid for this I couldn’t have afforded it) for me, P, my sister, her daughter, etc. I put the headband on right away – they tie around your head and I finally have been shown how to do the bangs-in-front-of-headband look! I bought K some beef jerky that he unfortunately doesn’t like – and I don’t even think the guy gave me the right flavor. Disappointing since the samples were SO good.

Mom and Dad bought some other stuff, including some yummy raspberry balsamic vinegar, tickets to what promises to be a great concert and show, some felt books that I’m going to have to help Mom cut out and put together, and the headbands I already mentioned.

I could have purchased a lot more stuff if I’d had a bigger budget. A really cool cheese grater, more jewelry, some more toys for the kids, a beautiful painting for P’s room, a little scooter toy that goes by turning the handles and holds little kids or adults, dips, vinegar, nuts, paintings for the house, tutus (Mom is going to help me make one for P on my own), dress for P (again, Mom says I can sew one like the dress I saw), and on and on.

After the Exp0, we went to the fair at Pine Creek HS, but we were in and out pretty quickly there. It was kind of small potatoes after the Exp0.

Saturday late afternoon when I got home, nothing much else happened. I did manage to squelch my instinct to order pizza or go get Subway enough to make homemade quesadillas and they were really good. I used canned chicken, refried black beans, minced brocolli, cheese, and whole wheat tortillas. Yum. They were definitely better with the refried beans than the last time I made them with whole black beans.

Saturday afternoon I also convinced K to help me move the furniture into its designated areas for the new floor. It took me a while to get the computer set up in the new corner, but I’m loving this arrangement. No cord strung along the wall for the modem since there is a phone jack right behind the computer over here. The room looks open and spacious and will look even more open when I get rid of the extra couch in the corner. So exciting.

Sunday:

We didn’t go to church because P coughed a lot all night and I woke up with a sore throat. So I figured it wouldn’t be good to go get contagious all over the folks at church. Instead, we had a quiet day at home. I made dried pineapple rings, cinnamon-spice roasted chickpeas (new recipe), pao de queijo. K made blackberry cobbler. I accidentally took a late nap from about 4 to 5 (fell asleep after reading my scriptures on the bed), then made dinner. Lightly floured chicken nuggets cooked in a tiny amount of coconut oil, quinoa, steamed garlic-salt zuchinni. It was pretty good, especially followed by K’s cobbler, which I ate way too much of.

We spent over an hour about midday on skype talking to my brother that is at officer school in Alabama right now from his station in Japan. It was weird talking to him when he’s in the country and not a day ahead of us, but it was nice because usually I talk to him at night when the kids and K are not around and its dark in the room. It was nice to have K and the kids available to contribute to the conversation.

Weighed in at 185 Friday morning. 186 Saturday morning. 185.5 Sunday morning. 187.5 this morning. Bummer, but its because I ate more than usual and later than usual yesterday. I worked out Friday and Saturday night.

Today is Monday. Have to get ready for work soon. Already put a chuck roast in the crock pot with some carrots and seasonings – I hope I’ve seasoned it pretty well since I usually don’t make a very good crock pot roast. All that leaves for K to do is make something to go with it such as rice or potatoes or noodles. Since this will be my first week working 3 afternoons in the office, I wanted to ease him into having to make dinner 3 times. I’d love to learn to use the crock pot better – so nice to have dinner done first thing in the morning!!

Wednesday I ended up not going into the office. Tuesday while I was out grocery shopping I got a call from K saying that K2 had started puking. I hurried and finished up and came home just in time for K2 to puke twice more. Had to shampoo carpet, change his bedding, and leave him in his diaper for a while as a precaution.

He seemed to feel fine after losing all his food, but we were careful for the rest of the evening with what we fed him. K continued to moan and groan – I swear he pulled muscles when he puked and that’s why he’s still sore tonight – 2 days later. K2 is also fine, and has been since Tuesday afternoon.

But just as a precaution, I kept P home from school yesterday and didn’t go into the office myself. We spent most of the day installing more laminate, though K was so tired and cranky by the end of the day that he was starting fights with me, which is usually my role. We got it almost completed, just a few more square feet. It looks amazing and is such a huge step up from particle board floors!!

I will run on my treadmill tonight for the first time since last week. I’m nervous about how it will be on the laminate, but I went and bought a new treadmill mat (my old one stuck to the garage floor and then ripped when I tried to pull it up to use it). So hopefully the mat will both keep me in place and sufficiently protect the floor from my pounding. We’re in the process of moving the entire living room around, so its all kind of make-shift right now until we finish up the last of the laminate tomorrow. I’m super-excited to have everything in place and to fully be able to enjoy the flooring. Swiffering, here I come!!!

I went to work today, and it was pretty productive. Got a lot of work lined up, so I have basically as many hours of work there as I want. I’m excited about the money, and not so excited about being sucked back into them depending on me. I’m going to have a to full on quit again and I wonder how long it will be before I do it for real. Perhaps when the next baby comes along. Goodness knows I don’t have maternity leave now that I’m flex with no benefits.

Weighed in at 186 this morning. Even though I haven’t been working out much the past few days, I’ve tried to shut myself down at night for eating. I got my fill of Halloween candy this weekend and now I’m staying out of it. Had a little too much to eat at the office today, but I also didn’t have my afternoon snack. So hoping to have 186 again tomorrow and hoping for 185 soon. Of course, I’m barely post-peri0d and this is when I feel most in control. Hope to keep up the good work.

Oh, and I’m in love with pomegranate arils. Bummed though that I bought 4 for $7.88 at Sams only to find out they are a dollar each at Walmart. Hope to stock up - I have a feeling I’m going to be looking forward to pomegranate season from now on.

Ok, so I went to all the trouble of helping my kids collect candy. They actually collected candy two nights in a row. I literally have a small rubbermaid storage container full of candy. It is on top of the fridge. I combined their two bags into it and have been digging in ever since. Last night I finally decided there was nothing else in there that I really want, but I know when it comes down to munchy, crunchy, I-want-sugar time, that won’t hold.

So, what should I do? My 2-year old won’t care if the candy disappears. Sure, he’ll ask for some and he’ll get told no, but he’ll get over it. My 5-year old will know. And question. And maybe cry. But we’ve all been getting way more than our quota of sugar for the last few days, her included. Its not good for her teeth, her bones, her health, or…. well, anything. Do I throw away candy that I purposely brought into my home? Is that wasteful? Should I have her pick a few things that she really wants and set them aside for rationing a couple a week? Should I throw away all the candy that is even MAYBE going to tempt me?

I don’t know what to do with it. But I know I have to do something, because having a huge case of candy at arms length is not helping me or my health, or my family’s health. If we’re going to snack, there are so many better options. Of course, we don’t have a lot of those options in the house right now.

I was going to go grocery shopping today, and then K started installing the laminate flooring yesterday with plans to finish it today. So I was going to dedicate myself to making sure I helped him with that this afternoon. But he woke up this morning at 5:30 and started puking by 6. He’s had diarrhea and more puking since then, and he’s in a lot of abdominal pain. He had me look up appendicitis symptoms – I hope that’s not it. Its probably callous of me to say, but I hope we don’t have to take him to the hospital; we still haven’t paid off the bill from June when he went in from dehydration and diarrhea.

This makes me want to get my family healthy. I feel like even though I’m still overweight and could be stronger, that I’m healthy. And strong. I try to give my children good things to eat, to bolster their immune systems with whole foods, etc. But I feel like I’m not doing a good enough job. And its even harder to make my husband eat healthily. Do I need to start making 3 meals a day for him, too? Perhaps I should. Perhaps I should make him eat what I eat. And like it dangit. So that he’ll be not just strong in physical strength, but strong in his immune system, and internal workings. I dunno if that makes sense.

The floor situation and the candy situation helped me develop some kind of excuse for not working out last night. Not cool. I want to be motivated again, and I’m struggling. Again. Sheesh. Well, its a new day.

That sounds mean, but I really mean it. And if I could only know who’s day I ruined, or be there to see their chagrin and scrambling that would have made it even better.

So, let me explain. Its not really that big a deal, and there’s no way to know if I ruined someone’s day or not. Without going into a blow-by-blow of how this came about…… Our internet has acted squirrelly for a while now. Usually, we just keep closing the browser and starting over until we get one that “works” for some unknown reason. We’d get a ‘working’ browser window open, only to click on a link that opened a new window and have that window be a non-working one (white screen, thinking, thinking, thinking forever). Today for the first time in a long time I did some work from home. I had 3 TMs to edit and some website work to do, and the white screen, thinking forever with nothing coming up was driving me CRAZY today. And it seemed much worse than usual. So I called my dad after doing everything I knew how to do (clearing out cookies, running my virus and spyware scanner, etc.). And after some chattering on my part about symptoms we discovered that the Wireless light on my modem was blinking. As it usually was. Wait a minute!!! We don’t use the wireless!!! ……..

So, we shut the wireless off. And I hope the turd-butt that’s been using my bandwidth for who-knows-how-long had a HORRIBLE day after that! But who knows, really. That’s just me hoping. And I haven’t had a white-non-working browser window since. Blissful. I guess I just took for granted that people are honest and upstanding. And so many of them aren’t. I knew what that blinking wireless light meant – I should have thought of that much sooner. So I guess its my fault, too. Anyway, someone out there is all of the sudden left without their free internet. Whoohooo!! And mine works right!!!

In other, less vindictive news, I put pumpkin in my green blended oats this morning!! And it was super-yummy. I put in spinach as usual but there wasn’t a lot left of my pre-steamed spinach, so I put in a spoonful of pumpkin puree, and ate it all in the almost-empty peanut butter jar. Nom nom, as the bloggers say.

I also dehydrated some canned pineapple rings yesterday and they are also tasty. Nice little snack for exercising your jaw.

K started pulling floorboards off the walls today in preparation for trying to get as much of the laminate flooring down tomorrow as possible. I don’t know how that will go because I have a pretty packed today planned tomorrow and K doesn’t seem to do very well when I have a lot going on – even if my stuff shouldn’t interfere with his stuff. Is that mean to say? Well, its true.

On the books for tomorrow:

• Conference call at 1:00 for work, its looking like I will be picking up some more hours as the person that does a lot of our website support is switching jobs to HR department as of Monday. Probably at least one more afternoon a week and some working at home. We need the money, so I’m trying to be cheerful about it. I’m hoping this will help me have some money for Christmas shopping.
• Parent-teacher conference at 2:40 for P’s kindergarten 1st quarter. Excited to talk about my daughter and be told she’s wonderful. Oh, that might not happen you say? Well, I can hope.
• Leaving the house by 3:20 to meet my mom at the south gate of the AFA to send the kids off with her, packing their Halloween costumes so they can attend her ward’s trunk-or-treat with her.
• Go over to the mall or some other place I can hang out reading books, browsing through stuff I can’t buy, etc. Kill time up on the north end of town until I meet the girls (2 women from my ward) at 5:30 at Olive Garden for girls’ night out dinner.
• After dinner and some fun chatting and catching up (probably around 7:30 or so), drive north to Monument to pick up kids

So I’ll need to be ready and dressed for dinner basically by my 1:00 conference call, since there isn’t a break anywhere in there with sufficient time to get ready. We shall see how the floor installation goes considering he hasn’t got his butt in gear as early as he’d have to to have my help in a while. But it’ll be a good day! I’m excited, even if the flooring doesn’t go in. There’s always next week.

Saturday the only things going on that I know of is K making his chili for the cook-off and our Halloween party for our ward. I might go to the church earlier in the day and help decorate one of the rooms. Other than that it shouldn’t be too stress-inducing. Then, Sunday, I teach.

Hoping for a good workout tonight. Later!!